Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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How the Albanian 'Speedy Gonzalez' killed the lazy Italian Kenny

Rome - January 20, 2015 - A video of a street worker in Italy, dressed in orange overalls, using a machine to paint crisp white traffic stripes at full speed has gone viral online, attracting over 1 million views.

In just 4 minutes he managed to cover nearly a kilometer of road and friends are now calling him “Speedy Gonzalez”.

Indrit Mema, an Albanian immigrant who came to Italy on a refugee boat nearly 20 years ago, insists he was just doing his job and is amazed at all the attention he had received.

“It’s just my job,” he said. “The success that the video has had on the web has surprised me. I like working with commitment and dedication.”

But his attention to detail have been celebrated by Italians, in a country where towns and cities are often overtaken by potholes, uncollected garbage and graffiti, and where scandals involving corrupt Italian politicians, the Mafia and fraud in infrastructure projects emerge on a daily basis.

The popularity of the video was because “in Italy a man who does his job properly has become a rarity,” said one of the stunned witnesses.

He insisted that he was not the only person with a strong work ethic in Cosio Valtellino, a town about 50 miles north-east of Milan.

“The people here are fantastic for their dedication to work. Whatever I know, it was taught to me by the Italians.”

 

WARNING: The following video may be graphic for Italian politicians, parliamentarians, civil servants. The rhythm, energy and dynamism of the work activity represented could cause headaches, neuralgia and vomiting. Consult with your trade unions before viewing.

How pleasant it is to see a civil servant in Italy work honestly. It threw us off schedule! In fact, it's so rare that Speedy made the front pages of all our Italian newspapers and news sites. If the video was in black and white it would have made a perfect Twilight Zone episode.

Before we hear another incredibly efficient public employee go on an insult tirade against the Albanian Speedy (like when they try to rewrite WWII), here are some characteristics between him and the lazy Italian Kenny:

bulletYou'll get more info and things accomplished with Speedy ON the street painting machine, on the way to an Italian public office...than at the office itself with Kenny.
 
bulletSpeedy will pop in, stripe an entire street in seconds and pop out. Kenny will pop in and out of the office real fast and give barely useful information...you know, like a bird from a cuckoo clock.
 
bulletBut is Kenny busy? Well, let's take a look at his desk. Of course...absolutely nothing on it! Speedy could drive on it and give it a nice white stripe.
 
bulletSpeedy's actions speak louder than his words, and the only pauses he takes is to occasionally throw down a traffic cone. Kenny will kindly ask you to use smaller words, speak slower and throw in a few pauses so that he can try to grasp what you're asking.

 

4 English words Italians had to reinvent for their own pleasure

Rome - January 21, 2015 - Once again, English words have been slithering into the Italian language, but not all the words are being used correctly.

Italians have an annoying habit of dropping the odd English word into a conversation. And occasionally you’ll hear an English or English-sounding word that isn’t used in the right context.

Here's a list of the three most common misuses of English in Italian, and one whose origin still remains a mystery.

 

- "Si, I too keep in shape by footing every weekend..."
It has nothing to do with that deranged sport of soccer. If you bother to ask for clarifications they'll eventually illustrate by running in place for several seconds. You'll then realize it's jogging. When we first heard of it, it almost gave us
the urge to give a good swift footing up the...

- "I think the smoking is too formal. Besides, we're only second grade relatives..."
Smoking formal in Italy? Didn't make sense to us either. They're referring to a black tuxedo. Rest assured you'll always find penniless Italians at weddings, introducing themselves in their expensive smoking jackets, smoking thin cigars. Feel free to introduce them to the water in the hotel pool.

- "I would take that mister and hang him by his..."
When the Italians rant incoherently about a mister, usually on Sundays, they're referring to a sports coach like in soccer. You know...that sport that keeps you awake at night unless you find out who scored what goal that started which city riot.

- "Request for a pey smecker checkup..."
This one is still considered a Michelangelo like masterpiece here in Sicily. A delightful example of an ignoramus spelling of a pronunciation...or just too lazy to look up the correct spelling on "Googhel".

 

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Surprising Italian grandmother FAIL story

Rome - January 21, 2015 - An 82-year-old Roman woman was arrested late last night for causing an apartment explosion that killed a 50-year-old man and injured 21 people.

Giovannina Serra, who was recently evicted, resisted arrest and told police she was not sorry for causing the blast that wrecked the Rome apartment. Serra is under investigation on suspicion of attempted multiple murders.

Despite her age and non threatening appearance, upon hearing the news she was to be evicted after not paying rent for a long period of time, Ms. Serra rented another apartment, again in spite of owning three other properties in Rome.

Three days after renting her new apartment, Ms. Serra is said to have planted gas tanks in her prior building and igniting them, causing substantial damage to the building, leaving one dead and 21 wounded.

 

"Porca di quella vacca"...this is a person whose ethics would have raised eyebrows in Corleone crime families.

Italian grandmothers, God bless them, they hold on to a grudge like nobody's business. Look at her photo. You can tell just by the smirk on her face. They have a memory like an elephant...and some of them can crush you physically (and mentally) just like one. So, you lose in more ways than one.

Imagine the family conversation at home just before the diabolical plan went into act:

Relative: "But Nonna, you own three homes in the middle of Rome. Why don't you just let it..." (interruption...and then the list.)


Giovannina: "YOU KNOW...my father had nothing!
- We all had to sleep in the same bed along with the bed bugs.
- I got yellow fever. I almost died but my mother nursed me back to health with donkey milk.
- My father had to buy me 2 left shoes. I never had the same pair of shoes. He had to buy them off a street cart in the piazza.
- I never had the advantages that you have! Ungrateful little..."

That's the point in the conversation where the best thing to do is change the subject, avoid the big flap of skin underneath her chin from slapping you and move on to something else...like staring at a wall in the next room.

One dead, twenty one injured... You know, in the good old days the occasional but potent "evil eye" was all that was necessary to obtain everlasting revenge. One of our staff writers claims he was told at the age of eight that he received a curse from his grandmother due to some irrational family fight between her and his mother. Thirty-five years later, he swears he can still feel its side effects.

Unfortunately, Giovannina won't see any jail time due to her age. Maybe, the worst she'll see is house arrest for the rest of her life. We sincerely hope that when the police penitentiary van drops her off at home and removes the handcuffs...her proud family will be waiting at the front door with a tray of fresh cannoli.

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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