Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
Subscribe to the OnlyInItaly.com  Newsletter:
Subscribe
   Unsubscribe
 
Home
Today's News
To the archives!
Mail a Mafia Threat!
Letter Samples
Order Stuff!
Why subscribe?
News Samples
Subscriptions
Our News Sources
People Are Talking
FAQs
Italian Resources
Customer Service
Your Privacy
 
Subscribe to the "Only In Italy" feed! Subscribe!
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My Google
Add to My Netvibes
Digg It!
Follow the News Staff:
Facebook
 
"Only In Italy" Italian News & Humor
OnlyInItaly.com
 
 
Adriana's Italian Gourmet Cookies
CookiesFromItaly.com
 
 
Caterina Collezione: Handcrafted Italian Sterling Silver Tableware
SilverFromItaly.com
 
 
Angela's Italian Organic Oregano
OreganoFromItaly.com
March 2012
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
"Hot For Teacher In Bologna"

(03/19/12)

 

Bacchus is waiting for you in Tuscany! Come visit Florence, Pisa, Siena, Montalcino, San Gimignano & Montepulciano during our annual Tuscany Wine Tour. You will visit the oldest winery in Italy as well as listen to monks chanting their famous Gregorian Chants, and enjoy the 92°F natural spring water in an outdoor Tuscan spa.

"I just wanted to take the time out to write and personally thank you for being our tour guide last week in Tuscany. The trip exceeded my expectations and your knowledge of the region is exceptional. I truly enjoyed all of the fun stories you provided through out the trip. The olive factory tour with lunch was certainly one of the highlights, as well as the walking tours and history. Words cannot express my thanks, Paul! Grazie!" Suzan F. Oct. 8, 2009 (Houston, TX)

Tuscany Wine Tour is the ultimate experience for anyone who loves wine, culture & fun! The week long tour includes all meals, 9 cellar visits with tastings, museum entrance to see Michelangelo's David and much more. Join us in making lifetime memories in September 2012. Visit tuscantourguide.com for the full itinerary!

"La vita è bella...ma non oggi."

Food without wine is like a day without sunshine...and flirting in front of your better half.        

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Ugly Italian Mothers Withdraw Kids From School In Protest Over Hot Teacher

Bologna - March 18, 2012 - Four sets of furious parents have pulled their children out of an Italian nursery school after it emerged that one of the teachers posed for model calendars as part of her extra curricular activities.

Michela Roth, a 38-year-old American who has lived in Italy for years and has children of her own, often poses for model shoots during the summer holidays when she returns to the US.

She has won several beauty contests, including Miss Mamma Italiana and Miss Culetto d'Oro (Miss Golden Ass), raising eyebrows and tempers in the tiny town of Castello di Serravalle near Bologna in northern Italy.

"She’s too beautiful and I don't want her teaching my son," one indignant parent told the local newspaper.

But Miss Roth insists that parents who object are simply jealous and old-fashioned.

On her Facebook page their are pictures of the mother of one at the beauty contest as well as her kick boxing in micro-shorts and small top, while she describes her status as 'complicated'.

"I'm always photographed in clothes, I'm never nude," she told the local newspaper. "For me, being a model is a second job, and I do it especially during the summer when the school is closed. But I love being a teacher, that's the main objective in my life. Those who know me can vouch for my professionalism both as a teacher and a model.

"The parents who have withdrawn their children are trying to convince other parents to do the same. I was expecting a bit of criticism, but I could never have imagined it coming to this."

An online poll conducted by the paper showed that the majority of readers were more sympathetic to the teacher than to the disgruntled parents (83 per cent vs 14 per cent), with three per cent who were unsure.

Look, Michela appears to be a very competent and ambitious woman. You can tell she likes to suck in life.

She understands teaching in Italy is one of the lowest paid professions. And, "mamma mia", why anyone chooses this profession willingly is beyond us. If you are someone who has to take a second job, what does it matter what the hell the job is.

Italian teachers today are a diverse and unattractive group of people from both sexes. However, they all share the same challenges:

- The work day is close to 10 hours long,
- They are at the mercy of the little Italian "figli di puttane" they teach,
- And they have to find crafty ways of explaining the child's results to parents without resorting to, "it could be you're a mule at parenting".

But "minchia", if you can just reach one child... eh, how does the rest of that hilarious saying go?

And why can't the dear mothers just keep quiet? "Per favore, Signore." They know perfectly well:

- They could get back into decent physical shape if they want. We've checked you out at the local schools. Just because you're married and have kids doesn't mean you have to look like you're in your eighth month of pregnancy.
- The other teachers are socializing instead of working. They walk arm to arm through the hallways and in front of the buildings...like elephants in a circus that walk tied from trunk to tail.
- That their husbands are hungry and their clothes dirty.

So, here's to you, Michela! "Forza, bella! Vi amo!" Click here to view Michela's delightful credentials.

 

Pope Sets Up Criminal Investigative Crack Team To Stop Vatican Leaks

Vatican City - March 18, 2012 - The Pope has taken the unusual step of setting up an internal, criminal investigation to identify the source of damaging leaks of compromising Vatican documents.

The inquiry will seek to punish the insiders who leaked the papers, whom the Vatican hierarchy regard as "disloyal and cowardly".

Pope Benedict XVI had been hurt by the leaks, said Archbishop Angelo Becciu, the Vatican's deputy secretary of state and third most powerful Vatican figure.

Documents leaked to the Italian press over the last few weeks have shed light on dark power struggles between senior cardinals, alleged corruption and nepotism in the running of the Vatican administration, and a mysterious prediction that the 84-year-old pontiff would die within a year, possibly as a result of an assassination attempt.

Msgr Becciu described whistle-blowers as "cowardly" and "deeply disloyal" and warned that they would face the full force of the law from Vatican prosecutors. They had abused the trust placed in them by leaking the documents, he said.

The investigation will be conducted by a tribunal and will probe all departments in the Vatican administration.

Msgr Becciu also defended the reputation of the Roman Catholic Church hierarchy, saying it was wrong to depict it as a hotbed of "plots and careerism".

The investigation will draw on an inquiry already opened by the Vatican's own police force, the Gendarmerie, into how the leaks happened.

The Pope also decided to launch a special commission into the affair, composed of cardinals whom he had chosen personally, in order to re-establish "trust" within the Holy See.

"TOP SECRET" For Pope's eyes only:

1. There could be life on other planets:
In 2006, Father Jose Funes, director of the Vatican's observatory, states that the Vatican acknowledges that life on other planets is theoretically possible. (However, whatever the life forms would be, the Vatican feels that they would be one of God's creations...vulnerable to spiritual blackmail and bribery, especially if they are Communist aliens running for office or Supreme Leader.)

2. Vatican Post Office is remarkably efficient, fast and profitable:
Beyond the many tourist souvenirs, the postage stamps contribute to the largest export of the Vatican serving as one of the primary sources of internal revenue. (Romans and tourists also find that the Vatican mail system is faster and more efficient than the typical Italian postal office...where they're used to dealing with postal workers who have spent more time together than the 12 Apostles but still have trouble remembering each other's name and the cost of mailing a postcard to Chicago.)

3. Vatican Radio waves covers the world twice over:
Located in a tower inside the Vatican Gardens, the Vatican has a radio station that broadcasts in 45 different languages across the world. In 2010 a court-ordered study has found that electromagnetic waves beamed by Vatican Radio leave residents living near the station’s giant antenna towers at a higher risk of cancer. (The radio’s director, Federico Lombardi, disputed the report, saying: "Vatican Radio is astonished to hear the news on the results of the study." And so was Tom Hanks with "Wilson" on that deserted island. "Am I going crazy or am I picking up the Third Sermon of Lent on a volleyball?")

4. Turn water to wine, taxes to donations:
Instead of paying their taxes to the Italian government, Italians are allowed to donate 8% of their yearly taxes to the Vatican. (Makes you want to pour your marinara sauce over your head, doesn't it?)

 

Save 50-60% with handcrafted Italian sterling silver directly from the factory in Italy. Caterina Collezione has been setting a "sterling" table since 1972 and has created a collection of Italian sterling that is second to none. For Italian sterling flatware, tableware, and giftware, Caterina Collezione is the place for selection, quality and service.

"I will definitely be showing off my table/silver over the holiday period and beyond." Wynta D. (Bossier City, Louisiana)

Take a look at our grand catalog and you'll find that perfect & unexpected wedding and anniversary gift characterized by the respect of traditional Italian artisanship! Only at SilverFromItaly.com!

 

And Another 1 Billion Euros Seized In Napolitano Mafia Raid

Naples - March 19, 2012 - Police carried out arrest warrants for 60 people, including 16 tax magistrates, and seized around one billion Euros (1.33 billion USD) in assets in an operation targeting the Fabbrocino clan of the Neapolitan mafia, the Camorra.

Prosecutors believe corruption led to dozens of tax disputes being settled against the State and frequently in favor of people linked to the Camorra.

Many of the people arrested have been detained in prison, while others have been put under house arrest, and others still have been forbidden from residing in Naples.

They are suspected of crimes including mafia association for money laundering and the corruption of legal proceedings.

The assets seized include company shares, bank accounts, properties, land and cars.

"Puttana della miseria", another great episode from "Alice in Naples Land".

And what punishment! A Napolitano knows well being forbidden from residing in Naples is much harsher than house arrest. That's like eating Chef Boyardee in a retirement home than Vermicelli with clams at the feast of San Gennaro.

And you can just imagine how the tax disputes were settled:

- "When I was audited many years ago the tax agent told me that he had never seen a Napolitano as honest, proud and precise in his affairs as me, and that I would never have to file a tax return ever again."

- "I took improper deductions on the tax returns I prepared because I was chosen as one of the organizers of the San Gennaro feast. And so, it was my sworn duty to be certain San Gennaro's blood would liquefy in public...and on cue.

- "I had post-traumatic stress syndrome from street combat service in Salerno, which led to the breakup of my social club, caused me emotional turmoil and flashbacks, and interfered with my talent to make wine."

- "After I moved from Salerno to Naples I asked someone in Naples about my Salerno income tax, and was told that the tax I owed Salerno was so small that it wasn't worth worrying about, so I just said "Si e vaffanculo!""

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
Subscribe today to the best Italian news ezine in the history of the Roman Empire, pizza, and electricity.
Fill in the form to subscribe to the newsletter:
Your E-mail address:
Subscribe Unsubscribe
 
   Send this to a friend!
 
"Only In Italy" Archives
"Only In Italy" Archives
 
February 2015
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
 
January 2015
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
 
December 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31      
 
November 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
            1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30            
 
October 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31  
 
September 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30        
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
July 2010
January 2010
December 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
May 2009
April 2009
December 2008
August 2008
May 2008
February 2008
December 2007
September 2007
July 2007
May 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
April 2005
March 2005
January 2005
December 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
 
May not be copied, stored or redistributed without prior, written permission. "Only In Italy" is a registered trademark of FromItaly di Ciccarello.