"Buon Giorno!" Welcome to the only newsletter in Italy that would promote horse meat burgers, "Only In Italy!"
Remember folks, don't cross your bridges if you can beat the tolls by going around.
Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!
Rome has "frothing fountains, cobbled piazzas and enough energy to launch a rocket" and is one of the "raunchiest" cities on earth. The article suggests some sensual activities for travelers to do in Rome and none of them take place in the bedroom. If you're planning a visit to Rome, we recommend Rome Urban Adventures which organizes guided tours to help you discover the best of Rome in a fun and informative way.
Meanwhile, in a list published by the Economist, Milan comes in as Italy’s most expensive city and the twelfth most expensive city in the world. Top of this list is Paris, followed by Tokyo, Oslo and Frankfurt.
Remember, when thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome! Start with the way you dress:
- On the whole, Romans dress far nicer than most of the world. They may not have a pot to 'pee-pee' in but they're fashion conscious. So, if you show a bit of respect for their culture, they will most certainly treat you better.
- The nicer you look, the better table they will give you. The better the service will be and the level of respect you will receive. And as a result, the rat bastard, "coglioni" restaurant owners won't inflate your bill by 25-300%.
- Guys, no tank tops. "Porca vacca", NO TANK TOPS! You wouldn't want the beggars and homeless giving you spare change.
- No ill fitting clothes, no stupid "3 wolves howling at the moon" T-shirts, and leave your prized NASCAR hat at home.
- No shorts. "Cazzo", NO ONE wears shorts. Young Italian girls sometimes do, but they usually opt for the very short skirts instead (after all, it's a sexy city).
- No flip flops, "per favore". There's no beach at the Vatican.
- NO NO NO white socks under pants. "'Fanculo", otherwise, Romans will mistake you for a slow adult.
Italy came in 48th out of 133 in the report, which ranks countries according to their ability to use technology to streamline government, drive the economy and empower society. It ranked second to last in the EU ahead of Greece in 56th place.
EU candidate Montenegro as well as a number of emerging economies such as Malaysia, Jordan, Tunisia and Thailand also placed ahead of Italy in the rankings.
According to the World Economic Forum, the Swiss non-profit known best for its annual meeting in Davos, Italy continues to struggle with bureaucratic and educational obstacles in becoming a more technologically advanced society. This contrasts with positive signs from the private sector in Italy ranking 25th for preparedness to invest in and make use of new technologies.
Sweden topped the rankings overall, for its techno-savvy government, first-rate broadband network and entrepreneurial readiness to cash in on the digital revolution.
On a rare serious note, Italy is known to be a country which has produced heavenly wines, interesting operas, and gorgeous people. What is less commonly known is that the Italians have also been great inventors. Okay, so today you will probably find the Italian Steve Jobs hiding in Sardegna somewhere, reinventing the abacus but quite a few of the essential items used around the world today in science, music, and in every day life were discovered and invented in Italy:
Bank: The name bank derives from the Italian word banco "desk/bench", used during the Renaissance by troublesome Jewish bankers in Florence. Centuries later, this incredible invention would uncontrollably evolve and bring about subsequent inventions like the "liquidity shortfall" and "bail out".
Cologne: It was a spirit-citrus perfume launched in Cologne in 1709 by Giovanni Maria Farina (1685-1766), an Italian perfume maker from Santa Maria Maggiore Valle Vigezzo, Italy. Later on, an annoying yenta named Coco Chanel would slap her imbecilic name on a bottle of 'toilet water' and force women to pay an exorbitant amount of money otherwise, as she would say, "a woman who doesn't wear perfume has no future."
Eyeglasses: Around 1284 in Italy, Salvino D'Armate is credited with inventing the first wearable eye glasses. The invention did bring needed vision correction but had a terrible side effect. The men with improved vision would take a good look at their wives and dump them immediately. They couldn't believe what they were married to...
Some 2% of the parents polled confessed to resorting to corporal punishment "almost every day" while around 23% said it was a "monthly occurrence". Physical discipline was most common among parents of children between three and five, around 38% of whom said they spanked their children at least once per month.
Parents of teens between 14 and 18 were the least prone to raise their hand, with just 8% saying it happened once every couple of weeks and less than 1% calling it a daily fact of life. Just 19% of parents said they "never hit their children" because they disapproved of physical methods of discipline compared to 57% who simply didn't think they were necessary.
The report was at the center of a convention organized by the global charity in Rome on parenting habits in Italy. Taking away favorite toys or imposing restrictions was the most popular punishment in Italy, with some seven out of ten parents saying that was more effective than a spanking.
Around 21% said that forcing kids to perform unpleasant chores worked the best while around 31% said docking their allowance was enough to get results.
Psychologists at the convention, however, argued that "no punishment is necessarily better than another, what matters most is that they're in proportion to the crime".
"Disciplinary action is only useful it makes children understand what they've done wrong," said Dr. Federico Bianchi.
"That's the only useful message you can send through punishments".
"A spanking by itself can mean 'don't do this'. But a spanking everyday doesn't mean anything," he said.
Did you eat the last cannoli, you little "cornuto"?
"Parents of teens between 14 and 18 were the least prone to raise their hand, with just 8% saying it happened once every couple of weeks..." "Mamma mia", come again? That's why Italian kids today are out of their minds. Just take a look at Italy's public school system. "Minchia", only Siegfried and Roy could clean it up.
Back in our day, all Italian children felt the superhuman wrath of the wooden spoon. We had to take the fall for everything!
"A beating?! What for?! Porca vacca, how is it my fault that all the chickens are sick?"
And not to mention the beastly Catholic school nuns who had custom-made paddles drilled with holes for improved aerodynamics and stinging.
After your ecclesiastical beating these deranged nuns would register the incident it in their holy archives and hand you a note to take home to be signed by your parents explaining to them in detail what you did and that you were punished with a warranted beating. The signed note had to be brought back the next morning to their unbalanced leader, the Mother Superior.
Of course, with all these documented affidavits going back and forth between our homes and the school at lightening speeds, we had no choice but to use our white underwear as flags of surrender.