Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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April 2010
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"An Open Letter To The Lovely Northern Italians"

(04/09/10)

 

Dolce per la Festa! This gift of great Sicilian taste is sure to please. Our cookie tray is filled with a scrumptious assortment of our best selling Italian and Sicilian cookies arranged on a golden cookie tray (Santo Trio Almond, Sicilian Orange Almond, Pistachio, Amarena, Buccellati and Sesame Seed Cookies). No preservatives, additives, artificial colors, or flavors.

"My mouth is already watering... Last time, I was bringing some to party, but due to weather, it was rescheduled for a month later... I froze the cookies and took them out the day of the party. The cookies never made to dessert time... Everyone kept sneaking into the kitchen to steal them and by the time dinner was over...no more cookies! Thanks for making such a great product." Michele N. (Howell, New Jersey)

Come visit the bakery at CookiesFromItaly.com!

"Hey beautiful zoccola!" Italian proverb: "He who knows little quickly tells it." Then you need a punch in the face just as quickly! "Only In Italy!"

Hmmm...we suddenly got the urge for a nice Palermitana "milza" (cow spleen) sandwich...   

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


'Mexican Rebel' Really An Italian

Rome - April 2, 2010 - Recently published photographs allegedly showing the face of masked Zapatista rebel leader 'Subcommandante Marcos' are actually of an Italian aid worker who has been in Mexico for the past two years, it was learned on Friday.

When he saw the photos published in the Mexican daily Reforma, Leuccio Rizzo wrote to the paper's editor to clarify that they were of him and ask that the paper correct its report or face legal action.

In his letter, the 38-year-old aid worker also expressed his admiration of the Zapatista Army of National Liberation (EZLN) for its efforts on behalf of the indigenous Mayan people of the economically depressed southern Chiapas state and his respect for 'Subcommandante Marcos', whom he described as a "revolutionary".

According to the Italian foreign ministry, after it heard of the case of mistaken identity, the Italian diplomatic mission in Mexico contacted Rizzo to see if he needed assistance. However, the aid worker said he was not at all worried but did ask that he be able to phone his family in Italy to reassure them, the ministry said.

Rizzo is a native of the town of Galatina, near the southeastern city of Lecce, and is working in Mexico on behalf of the Bergamo-based Chiapas 'Maribel' Committee, which has posted his letter to the Mexican daily on its website.

'Subcommandante Marcos' has been identified by the Mexican government as 53-year-old Rafael Sebastian Guillen Vicente. He is the most recognizable EZLN spokesman with a black balaclava hiding his face through which he is usually smoking a pipe.

The rebel leader gained international attention in 1994 when he led a revolt of Mayan farmers in Chiapas to protest against the Mexican government's treatment of indigenous peoples.

In 1997 the then-leader of Italy's Communist Refoundation party, Fausto Bertinotti, met with 'Subcommandante Marcos' in a much-publicized trip to Chiapas.

"Mamma mia!" Wait, wait! Don't shoot!

All our solidarity goes out to Leuccio for the upstanding volunteer work he is doing for the people of Chiapas. "Bravo!" But it appears he doesn't comprehend the fact that he was mistaken for a rebel leader because...he resembles one. Take a good look at the face. This Southern Italian looks like a young Castro, Hamas member, and Mafioso all rolled into one.

"...the 38-year-old aid worker also expressed his admiration of the Zapatista Army of National Liberation (EZLN)...and his respect for 'Subcommandante Marcos', whom he described as a "revolutionary"." Ok, "cornuto", I think we have found the problem. You might be mistaken for a criminal at large but you're giving the idea that you're guilty of something. You're a prime candidate for one who should be shot first and asked questions later.

And what the hell are you doing in Chiapas, Mexico?! "Ma porca di quella vacca!" You were living in a Puglia town just 45 minutes from the beach. Wouldn't it be safer to keep quiet and swing a hula hoop in your backyard?

Leuccio, you might be against NAFTA's exploitation of Chiapas...but we're against leaving the house. Swing your hoop and live.

 

Southern Italy May Flood At Any Moment

Rome - March 30, 2010 - Europe's largest undersea volcano could disintegrate and unleash a tsunami that would engulf southern Italy "at any time", a prominent vulcanologist warned in an interview published Monday.

The Marsili volcano, which is bursting with magma, has "fragile walls" that could collapse, Enzo Boschi told a leading daily newspaper.

"It could even happen tomorrow," said Boschi, president of the National Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology (INGV).

"Our latest research shows that the volcano is not structurally solid, its walls are fragile, the magma chamber is of sizeable dimensions," he said. "All that tells us that the volcano is active and could begin erupting at any time," AFP reported.

The volcano, located 150km off the coast of Naples, rises 3000m off the ocean floor and peaks some 450 meters below the surface. It measures 30km by 70km. It has a big magma chamber which is under pressure and its walls are structurally fragile.

AHN News has reported that, the volcano’s crater is 1,467 feet below the surface of the Tyrrhenian Sea and a tsunami could hit the coasts of Campania, Calabria and Sicily, Boschi warned in an interview published Monday in an Italian newspaper.

Dear Northern Italy,

As many of you probably know, a tsunami is expected to wipe us out any day now. But before we leave, we wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Andate tutti a 'fanculo!"

For nearly as long as when the unification of Italy occurred, we've hoped that we might one day place our differences apart and become loving neighbors. And now that this dream will never become a reality, please know that we could not have reached this goal without your constant lack of support. Words cannot express our gratitude for the words of disgust, hostility, and lunacy you constantly expressed.

Over the past 150 years, your politics have taught us more than we could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. Your stupid demands were high and your patience short, but who gives a rat's ass anymore.

And to most of our fellow Italians: even though we barely acknowledged each other when we traveled through the North in search of humble work and a home, we hope that when the world ends, should we pass each other in the heavens, we will regard you the same way as you regard us: with disgusted looks on our faces.

But to those few people with whom we've actually interacted, here are our personalized notes of farewell:

To the Milanese: We rolled our sleeves and built your pompous and arrogant city. It's a shame you couldn't invent a better dish than Risotto with Gorgonzola cheese.

To the Venetians: Eight Euros for an espresso? Better to go with one quick felt swoop from a tsunami than slowly sink into oblivion.

To the Romans: To all the legislature, senators, bloated fascists and farm animals in Rome who run the country; our garbage problem will soon be resolved.

So, in parting, if we could pass on any word of advice, it would be to remember us and smile, for it's better than knowing that you are all "figli di puttane".

Very truly yours,

Southern Italy

 

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Prostitute Crossing Confuses Motorists

Treviso - April 2, 2010 - A road sign warning of prostitutes is confusing motorists in an Italian town.

The red-bordered triangular sign shows a scantily-clad woman, who is also carrying a handbag, in the city of Treviso in northern Italy. The sign states 'Attenzione Prostitute', seemingly warning people of prostitutes in the area.

Motorists and pedestrians have complained that the sign is 'confusing', saying they don't know if it means to watch out for crossing hookers or if it means prostitutes operate in the area.

One local Dino Vezino, 34, said: "I was driving in to work and saw this sign and had to slow down to get a proper look.

"I couldn't believe it - the woman has a mini-skirt and high heels on and very big breasts.

"I just couldn't work out what it was for?

"Does it mean I have to look out for prostitutes crossing or that they are available around here?"

"Porca di quella mignotta", my insurance company is never going to believe this one!

This shouldn't be a surprise. There are also prostitute search options in most European car navigation systems.

Dino Vezino: "I just couldn't work out what it was for?"

Let's help out Dino, the befuddled virgin. It could be:

A. Beware, prostitutes with briefcases ahead,
B. If you stop to talk to a prostitute in the bureau area, you can be fined 50 to 500 Euros ($68-$680),
C. Red triangle means "warning". Example a red triangle with a deer on it would mean "warning a deer is about to jump out in front of your car". The same goes for prostitutes,
D. Attention! Yield to 'Escorts'

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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