Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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June 2010
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"Italian Police Investigate UFO That Was Observing Naples"

(06/02/10)

 

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"Che bel giorno!" We welcome you back to another astoundingly late but amusing issue of "Only In Italy!"

Italy Minister Proposes 5% Pay Cut For Gov't Ministers While Keeping Straight Face. Thank you very much for the information, I do not know how you obtain this information, and thanks. Italy is worse than Hungary politicians in payments. Giuseppe I.

Grazie, Beppe! Most of our info comes from Italian news agencies. It would have been hard to find this particular story from world news agencies (in English) unless there was room in the humor section.   

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Italian Police Investigate UFO That Was Observing Naples

Naples - May 28, 2010 - Italian police are probing an alleged UFO sighting by a trash collector in a town near Naples.

The man, 42, told police Friday he was collecting rubbish at 2 a.m. when he saw two "bright red spheres" in the sky which "hovered for a while before zooming off in different directions," according to reports from the town of Crispano, 13 km (eight miles) north of Naples.

Investigators moved into the alleged sighting zone, near the town's soccer stadium, and reportedly found "concentric circles" and "signs that the grass had been trampled".

"Porca vacca!", Fabio, what is that?

One of the most intriguing questions that supporters of the UFO phenomenon are forced to confront with is why, if aliens are visiting our planet, they don't make open contact. Why not park a space ship in Pompeii? One speculation is that aliens have some kind of moral code which prevents them from large scale interference in the affairs of a less advanced civilization like the Napolitani.

If the aliens want to disclose some message to us, surely it would be better to do it publicly rather than confiding it to a rare and incredibly peculiar species like a Napolitano garbage man?

The usual answer of the dubious alien contact smelling of cheap aftershave, shirt half-buttoned, and with slivers of baccala caught in his teeth, is that the human race is yet not ready for open contact with the extra-terrestrials because our level of spiritual consciousness is too low. Only the Napolitani themselves, after many years of listening to bad Napolitani music about their beloved mothers, the hardships of living in Naples, and death in general, have attained the spiritual understanding necessary to fully appreciate the alien message.

UFOs and Napolitani: Fact or Myth?

- A UFO sighting occurs somewhere on the planet every three minutes. (Garbage collection occurs somewhere in Naples every 3 months.)

- Hundreds of thousands of unexplained sightings have been reported all around the world, many of which were documented or photographed. (Hundreds of thousands of unexplained peculiar acts according to Naples culture and way of life have been reported, many of which were documented or photographed.)

- A Gallup poll in 1996 said that 71 percent of Americans believe the government knows more than it is telling us about UFOs. (Italy's police forces believe the Napolitani know much more than they are telling them.)

 

Fishermen Strike Over Rule To Stop Spaghetti With Clam Sauce

Rome - June 1, 2010 - Italian fishermen were up in arms on Tuesday over new European Union regulations they say threaten their livelihoods and one of Italy's most popular pasta dishes, spaghetti with clams.

Fishermen nationwide went on strike, warning that EU rules aimed at protecting Europe's fish stocks could cut catches by up to 50% and spell an end to the widespread consumption of razor and wedge clams.

Fishermen in 13 of Italy's 15 coastal regions grounded boats and staged demonstrations to protest the implementation of Regulation 1967/2006. The new rules increase the minimum mesh size of drag nets to allow young fish to escape, prohibit fishing within a certain distance of the shoreline and restrict the use of a range of techniques such as drilling and explosives to capture clams.

"We'll lose up to 50% of our catch and with all the costs, we won't be able to carry on," warned a statement by Tuscan fishermen, who have said they will continue industrial action for the next 48 hours.

The Impresa Pesca fishers union said the government had a duty to take action.

"While the regulation may have long-term results, in the short and medium term it will unquestionably penalize Italian fishermen who use drag systems," said Impresa Pesca Director Tonino Giardini.

"This is why economic measures are needed in support of Italy's fishing fleet, to compensate the sacrifices that will hit them". Impresa Pesca said dishes using razor clams and wedge clams, known as 'telline', could disappear entirely from restaurants.

A senator with the devolutionist Northern League, one of the majority coalition parties, said the rules were the latest example of European interference in Italian traditions.

"We can no longer be held hostage to a Europe of bureaucrats who evidently eat only red meat and couldn't care less about our fish specialties," said Piergiorgio Stiffoni.

"The government must be alert at Brussels to avoid decisions on pea quality and cucumber length, or, as in this case, a decision that stops us all enjoying classic dishes such as squid ink spaghetti".

RIP "Spaghetti con le Vongole"

We have to say we can't side with Italy's commercial fishing boats. They saw this coming and, quite frankly, they deserve it. We've been to the sea port of Sciacca (Agrigento) and seen the carnage. It's quite a scene to watch these "grandissimi figli di puttana" throw overboard an excessive quantity of caught fish in order to keep their prices high. "Ma vaffanculo!"

They often are the primary cause of the environmental degradation of our coastal areas, practicing in recent decades a destructive type of fishing that leaves no escape, and still continue to do so with a fearless and egotistical "non mi scazzare le palle" attitude.

But you might ask, "What about some intervention from your Coast Guard or delegations?"

"Cazzarola", no! They're too busy busting the "coglioni" of the families of campers who spend quality time with their children at the port with fishing rods. Yes, it's illegal to fish at the ports due to a law passed back when Julius Caesar roamed the Roman Empire (it's called "obstruction of navigation").

However and fortunately; it appears the Libyan Coast Guard is the only authority who is keeping Italian fishermen in check by attacking boats who wander near their coast to fish. Since 2008, four boats have been seized in a contested area which Libya says is part of its exclusive economic zone. In one case Italian fishermen and their boat were held for 40 days before being allowed to return to Italy.

"They attack with the use of arms whose bullets hit the bridge of the ship," said Nicola Cristaldi, mayor of Mazzara del Vallo, the town from which one of the fishing boats departed.

Hmmm...How about planting tomatoes? Chances are no one is going to shoot you for producing too much marinara sauce.

 

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Racist Italian Couples Can't Adopt

Rome - June 1, 2010 - Italian couples only interested in adopting white kids are not fit to become parents, the country's highest appeals court said on Tuesday.

The Court of Cassation said a lower court in Catania had been wrong to approve a couple's desire to request children that weren't black or non-European. It strongly indicated that couples making such requests should not be allowed to adopt at all.

"In such cases, the judge must not only eliminate any specifications relating to the child's ethnicity, he or she must seriously consider whether such a request is compatible with someone's suitability to adopt," said Cassation Judge Maria Rosaria San Giorgio, who wrote the opinion.

The court similarly ruled out the option of requests for "certain genetic characteristics". It pointed out that all children awaiting adoption already had a "profoundly difficult" past and therefore had a greater need than other kids for parents of "particular sensitivity".

The judges stressed that social services should do everything possible to assist couples in welcoming a child that "does not look like them".

It said potential parents should be helped to address their fears that "problems of xenophobia will threaten the child's integration into local society and make it difficult for the child to adapt".

The case was raised at the Court of Cassation by a children's rights group, Amici dei Bambini (Ai.Bi, Friends of Children).

The organization has been battling for ten years to open up adoptions to children of all races, ever since a court in the central city of Ancona court said it was acceptable for a couple to rule out black kids. Ai.Bi has long argued that couples treating kids as a "commodity" should not be allowed to adopt.

The ruling was welcomed by sector association and politicians.

The National Association of Adoptive and Foster Parents (ANFAA) stressed that parenting was about "love and education...not skin color".

But ANFAA President Donata Novi Miucci acknowledged that some parents may be worried about raising children "in a hostile environment", an apparent reference to general incidents of racism and violence involving foreigners.

"Unfortunately, certain indications in Italy in recent times are very worrying and do not help with this kind of social responsibility," she said.

While countries such as Britain and the United States have a long history of dealing with in-country interracial adoption, in Italy the issue usually arises only in the course of international adoptions.

Around 4,000 international adoptions take place each year in Italy, 60% of which involve kids from just five countries: Russia, Ukraine, Colombia, Ethiopia and Brazil.

According to the last annual report of the Commission for International Adoptions, there has been a sharp drop in the number of adoptions from Vietnam, and a complete block on all adoptions from Nepal, Cambodia, Moldova and Bolivia.

Hmmm...a Sicilian couple who wants to adopt children that aren't black or non-European. But...you're Sicilian like yours truly and the rest of the idiots who write this stupid newsletter. We have always been considered black AND non-European!

"Porca vacca", who wanted to adopt us? You hypocrites "della minchia"!

A million unwanted black babies in the world and these Sicilians have to have a white baby (possibly with some sickness). Imagine the pecking order in their minds:

"Ok, first, healthy white baby. Second, sick white baby. Third, healthy black baby."

Such racist couples should be allowed to adopt so that their adopted children can rebel later on in life:

- "Hey Papa, you big ugly Sicilian, what do you mean milk that goat? Who do I look like? I didn't tell you to adopt me, cazzo!"

- "Mamma, papa! Can I have some cash to tour Europe looking for the "figli di puttana" who abandoned me?"

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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