Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
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September 2010
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"Pope: You Know, A Steady Job Isn't Everything"



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"Hey...(yawn) buon giorno" Welcome back our friends to "Only In Italy!"

See? Italians have brains, now they can create their own super weapon (invisible cloak), or does this new thing go to the United States military? They took all the German technology and Italian? Giuseppe I

Grazie, Giuseppe. We honestly don't know where this super stupid thing is going to go.

They'll probably pass the invention over to Armani who'll be in charge of picking the overly expensive fabric and then over to our incredibly incompetent military forces for a test to see if a person wearing the cloak can take a bullet. Mah...

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      

Pope: "You Know, A Steady Job Isn't Everything"

Vatican City - September 3, 2010 - A steady job isn't everything in life and young people should look to God for more, Pope Benedict XVI says in his message for World Youth Day next summer.

In the message, part of which was released Friday, the pope says: "Looking for a job and having solid ground underneath one's feet is a great and pressing problem...(but) the real solid points for youth are to be found in faith and the values underlying society".

These values, the pope said, "come from the Gospels".

The XXVI World Youth Day will take place in Madrid on August 16-21, 2011

Listen, Pope, we're having a problem. Catholicism has been down these past few years. You got to put more effort into the speeches and edicts. You might as well give it in Latin. No one knows what's going on anymore. There are old folks battling the rain and snow to get to sermons!

Who knows what all these unemployed under-25s are thinking. According to EU statistics, that's 19.6% of them across the eurozone, "Porca vacca!"
Who knows what those who have an unstable job are thinking. According to EUROFOUND, more than 40 million people in Europe, or 22% of workers, suffer from stress-induced depression, "Porca miseria!"

Or maybe its just that they haven't found that "faith" yet.

Look at Italy: After the steep recession in 2008-2009, nearly 60% of our 18-34 year-olds now live with their parents, up from 49% in 1983. And nearly a third of Italians in their early 30s are still living with their parents...a figure that has tripled since 1983.

However, we'll heed the good Pope's words by looking for the so-called values in the Gospels that underly society. We'll start with avoiding transforming one of our children's first communion into a mini matrimony (with 300 ungrateful relatives and friends invited).


George Clooney: "Italy Has Changed Me...Yes, Really"

Rome - September 4, 2010 - Discovering La Dolce Vita had a profound effect on George Clooney the actor has revealed.

The 49-year-old heartthrob has said that he made the choice to splurge on his Italian lakeside villa for financial reasons.

"It was a pure investment decision. I thought maybe I would spend a few weeks vacationing there," he told a news agency.

But then the Ocean's Eleven star fell for his adopted homeland.

"I realized how beautiful life was in Italy and how it really helped calm me and not feel so pressured," Clooney enthused.

"I could also work very productively and bring my friends over to keep me company."

The Academy Award-nominee explained that living in the small village of Laglio offered him a chance to escape the glare of Hollywood stardom.

"My life over there takes me away from the circus aspects of being a celebrity and that's a pleasant change for me," he said.

"Oh, che bello!" You've changed us too, George. Your sweet breath will help close the hole in the ozone layer and make the world safer for all Italians.

On a serious note, Giorgio, it's so nice to see our Italy calm you down and put less pressure on your incredibly lucky life. We're also happy to see that you:

- overcame the anger and frustration from having to appear at a Milan trial of three Italians who attempted to use your name to set up a fashion show in a Milan hotel,

- are completely unaware that Italy is very earthquake prone...and you're terrified of earthquakes,

- are still in love with one of our gorgeous showgirls who has delusions of adequacy, whos happy she gets her shoes on the right feet, and demands to be treated better than Cleopatra,

- were forced to become a civic protester in your tiny town of Laglio (population 900) in an attempt to stop the mayor's 12 million Euro ($15 million USD) mega council development that included three new parking areas, with lift access down to the lake, and a floating pontoon walkway in the small front of your villa.


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Mafia Cash In On Wind Farm Handouts In Sicily

Palermo - September 5, 2010 - Italy seized Mafia-linked assets worth $1.9 billion, the biggest mob haul ever, in an operation revealing that the crime group was trying to "go green" by laundering money through alternative energy companies.

Investigators said the assets included more than 40 companies, hundreds of parcels of land, buildings, factories, bank accounts, stocks, fast cars and luxury yachts. Most of the seized assets were located in Sicily, home of the Cosa Nostra, and in southern Calabria, home of its sister crime organization, the 'Ndrangheta.

At the center of the investigation was Sicilian businessman Vito Nicastri, 54, a man known as the "Lord of the Wind" because of his vast holdings in alternative energy concerns, mostly wind farms.

Interior Minister Roberto Maroni called the operation "the largest seizure ever made" against the Mafia.

General Antonio Girone, head of the national anti-Mafia agency DIA, said Nicastri was linked to Matteo Messina Denaro, believed to be Mafia's current "boss of bosses." Investigators said Nicastri's companies ran numerous wind farms as well as factories that produced solar energy panels.

"It's no surprise that the Sicilian Mafia was infiltrating profitable areas like wind and solar energy," Palermo magistrate Francesco Messineo told a news conference.

Officials said the operation was based on a 2,400-page investigative report and followed the arrest of Nicastri last year.

Senator Costantino Garraffa, a member of the parliamentary anti-Mafia committee, said the Mafia was trying to break into the "new economy," of alternative energy as it sought out virgin ventures to launder money from drugs and other rackets.

Police say the circle is now closing in on Messina Denaro, who hails from the grim western Sicilian town of Castelvetrano and is known as the "Playboy Boss" because he likes fast cars, women and gold watches. He has been on the run since 1993.

In case our readers are wondering whether we will proclaim that almost all Southern Italian businessmen are Mafia, the answer is an obvious "si".

It could be considered incorrect ethnic stereotyping...but we couldn't give a rat's ass for most of us in this ridiculous news staff live the reality every day. These businessmen have acted unethically which is certainly something that happens in many other countries. But we're talking about Sicily and Calabria.

Question: How could the country arrive to the point of confiscating assets for the incredible record amount of $1.9 billion USD in two southern regions which have absolutely NO economy, NO economic development, OR future? The answer is...Italy was well aware of what the "Lord of the Wind" was up to but closed, not one, but both eyes.

But something somewhere went wrong...politically.

Face the facts: Journalists outside Italy should wake up, smell the espresso, and come to realize that our Mafia owns a substantial part of just about everything in Italy including a nice proportion of the politicians at all levels of government. The money produced by all kinds of illicit businesses has to be reinvested in legitimate businesses that are sold at inexpensive prices by their owners who are subject to the so-called "offers they cannot refuse" or are pressured, encouraged, or happy to launder cash through their small businesses (such as pizzerias, bars, construction companies, and engineering studios) before returning the 'cleaned' cash to its owners in return for a small cut or freedom from the recommended monthly "insurance" payments.

This "laundry service" keeps many Southern Italian businesses open.


Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
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