Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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September 2008
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"Sicily Offers $1.47 Homes (with Strings Attached)"

(09/22/08)

 

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"Come stai?" Welcome to another Palermitano Pulitzer Prize issue of "Only In Italy!"

Who is this idiot dissing Italian culture. He/she should be shot. Marie

They're the same idiots who are being "dissed" by Italian culture, Marie.

Welcome back and brace yourselves for a lovely autumn season!

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Impatient Teacher Faces Charges for Gagging Children

Impatient Teacher Faces Charges for Gagging ChildrenRome - September 16, 2008 - An Italian teacher was charged Tuesday with gagging small kids to make them behave.

Rome prosecutors asked a judge to send to trial Maria Teresa Carrarini, a kindergarten teacher who allegedly used packing tape to tie up and gag unruly toddlers.

Carrarini's case emerged two years ago when she was reported by parents and a kids help line.

"Miss is using tape to keep us quiet," the parents said their children told them.

Carrarini is suing the parents for defamation of character.

Since Carrarini hit the headlines in October 2006 there have been three similar cases in Pescara, Florence and Milan. The teachers involved could face four years in jail.

"Miss is using tape to keep us quiet." Holy cazzo, son, sometimes one just doesn't want to hear the chatter.

We cannot understand all the fuss. Maria Teresa was correct in her actions.

"Sta pippa," forget the packing tape! Put bars on the windows, bread and water for lunch, and school 12 months a year, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day! If these don't work, maybe Siegfried and Roy can clean up the Italian public school system.

Please understand, there's little chance anyone in our news office is going to win a Nobel Prize in Literature, but watching a typical Italian kid work on a simple science project makes you want to smack him upside the head with a loaf of day-old bread.

Be strong, Maria Teresa. We support you.
And you should seriously consider going into roofing.

 

Pope Prays for Alitalia Airline To Survive

Friday - September 15, 2008 - Pope Benedict told the official in charge of the latest faltering rescue bid for Alitalia on Friday that he has been praying for the Italian airline.

Asked by Alitalia's bankruptcy boss to say a "special prayer" for the loss-making airline, which has already defied two rescue attempts and now risks being liquidated, Benedict replied: "I have been praying for you for some time."

Bankruptcy commissioner Augusto Fantozzi met the pope at Rome's airport just before the pontiff boarded an Alitalia flight to France for a pilgrimage to Lourdes, whose spring waters are believed by Catholics to have healing powers.

The German-born pope, like pontiffs before him, always uses planes laid on by Alitalia for his trips abroad.

Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, fulfilling an election promise, has rallied Italian businesses to rescue the airline, which has not made a profit since 1999.

Here we go again..."Nel nome del Padre, Figlio e Spirito Santo."

- May "Saint Joseph of Cupertino", the patron saint of air travelers, bless all who have flown with this airline with the same love and care that discourteous, disrespectful, ill-bred, ill-mannered, impolite, uncivil, ignorant Alitalia employees gave.

- May "Saint Matthew", the patron saint of accountants, bless the Alitalia accountants who happily pay the CEO an annual salary of 2,700,000 Euros (4 million USD) and nervously calculate the 83,000 Euros (121,000 USD) the airline loses an hour.

- May "Saint Bernardine of Siena", the patron saint of advertising, bless Alitalia marketing for it's brilliance and vivid imagination in trying to lure travelers with gangster-like fares.

- May "Saint Joseph", the patron saint of workers, bless the hardworking 20,575 Alitalia employees who do the work of 4000.

 

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Sicily Mayor Offers $1.47 Homes

Palermo - September 13, 2008 - A small town in western Sicily has come up with a revolutionary solution to solve its property problems.

They are offering houses in the town, which sits between two rivers, for just a single euro ($1.44).

The idea is the brainchild of mayor Vittorio Sgarbi, convinced it is the only way to revitalize its crumbling historic heart.

Most of the villas were damaged by an earthquake 40 years ago and since then, much of the local population moved out.

"There are 3,700 houses owned by the council, almost all in the old town, that are in danger of falling down, of crumbling and dying," Mr Sgarbi explained.

There is a catch - those who buy will be obliged to sympathetically renovate the old houses without changing their style within two years at some significant cost.

Mr Sgarbi initially offered the houses free of charge, to residents of Salemi who agreed to do the renovations.

But then, keen to raise awareness of his cause, he gave the first to football boss Jose Mourinho's new employer, Massimo Moratti, chairman of Inter Milan.

"We're thinking of people who have the sensibility and economic resources to embark on this adventure," Mr Sgarbi said.

"In exchange for a token payment of one euro we will offer them one of these houses and ask that they undertake to restore them within two years while respecting their original characteristics."

A former art critic, who once defined himself as an anarchist, Mr Sgarbi was a senior official in the culture ministry during a previous government led by current Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

Among those said to be keen is former Genesis star Peter Gabriel.

Mr Sgarbi is delighted by the level of interest, saying: "We have had a lot of interest and people are already booking up to come down here".

"Minghia...$1.47?"

At a $1.47 a home, rest assured you're not going to have the "De Medici" of Florence for neighbors.

"There is a catch - those who buy will be obliged to sympathetically renovate the old houses without changing their style within two years at some significant cost." Hmmmm...There is absolutely nothing sympathetic about renovating a Sicilian house using local Sicilian masons, builders and architects. Renovation and rebuilding is estimated to cost you 80,000 Euros (114,000 USD), although realistically, the so-called "significant cost" could be as high as 425,000 Euros (600,000 USD).

When renovating a property in Sicily whether it is a farmhouse, townhouse, dungeon or chicken shack you will need to consider:

- the reprehensible and mobster-like building costs,
- the costs of the conniving, sinuous and filthy Sicilian architect (there will usually be a charge for initial plans and negotiating with his rat-bastard and vindictive relative who works in the local Comune, Town Council),
- IVA (Italian VAT or tax),
- and additional smaller charges such as changing the use of the property from its agricultural classification to domestic dwelling and/or maintenance for the architect's car. This can be between 1,500 and 4,000 Euros (depending on what model Mercedes or BMW he drives).

You should always routinely check the plans during the purchase process as many have discovered additional space such as cellars being taken over by adorable next door neighbors who knock down walls to expand the space for their wine and sausage storage.

It is important to visualize what you are trying to achieve when embarking on the godforsaken project and translate this to that architect. Many problems arise when people lose sight of their initial goals. Constantly changing plans is going to be put smiles on those sinister Sicilian masons and require multiple visits to that architect's filthy relative at the Comune to agree modifications.

Remember: "Location, location, location" to Sicilian realtors means:

"Where do we go for breakfast, lunch and dinner?"

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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