Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
Subscribe to the  Newsletter:
Today's News
To the archives!
Mail a Mafia Threat!
Letter Samples
Order Stuff!
Why subscribe?
News Samples
Our News Sources
People Are Talking
Italian Resources
Customer Service
Your Privacy
Subscribe to the "Only In Italy" feed! Subscribe!
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My Google
Add to My Netvibes
Digg It!
Follow the News Staff:
"Only In Italy" Italian News & Humor
Adriana's Italian Gourmet Cookies
Caterina Collezione: Handcrafted Italian Sterling Silver Tableware
Angela's Italian Organic Oregano
Luigi and his boyfriend, Carlo.
Sample stories...please!
Want to see some "Only In Italy" sample stories? Read some right here, but you have to subscribe by e-mail to read the new ones as they come out. They are published on this web site but will be for a limited time only! Why should I subscribe?
Italy police hunt woman in breast implant sting.
Rome - Feb 12, 2004 - An Italian woman who had her breasts enlarged with the biggest silicone implants available is being hunted by police after she skipped out on the 7,500 Euro ($9,500) plastic surgery bill.
Police say they have few leads as the woman used a false name but are relying on a photograph and her unusually large bra size to find her, a newspaper reported on Thursday.
The woman did a runner from the exclusive private hospital in Rome a day after the two-hour operation which doubled her bust size, her plastic surgeon Jamal Salhi told on Thursday. "Unfortunately this kind of fraud isn't that unusual," Salhi lamented.
Hmmm...Can you imagine all the sexual harassment going on by the Italian police in Rome at this very moment? Every woman with a big chest and similar looks to this silicone thug is a possible suspect!
A couple of questions to all you wonderful women:
Are we (men) responsible for this?
Do we drive you to this kind of behavior?

Italian PM 'almost immortal,' doctor says, dispelling rumors of failing health.

Rome - February 4, 2004 - Silvio Berlusconi's doctor said yesterday the Italian Prime Minister is "almost immortal'' with a genetic make-up "exceptionally'' disposed to longevity. Though rumors have abounded that Mr. Berlusconi is in failing health and may be forced to stand down, Prof. Scapagnini said the opposite was true.

He said the Prime Minister is a picture of health who knows how to control stress and observes a high-protein diet, which makes him look 12 years younger than his 67 years and gives him the "mental and sexual activity of a 50-year-old.''

Prof. Scapagnini, an endocrinologist who is also Mayor of Catania, Sicily, said three factors determine lifespan -- genetics, stress, and nutrition -- and Mr. Berlusconi is particularly fortunate in all three. "Genetically he is exceptional,'' he said. "And he has a brain that is truly extraordinary. He has an incredible capacity for concentration and work."

Boy, am I going to sleep good tonight knowing my super, "almost immortal", Prime Minister is protecting my country and I.

Hmmm...He must be "almost immortal" because I once heard he bit the head off an Italian rat to save a whole family's spaghetti from the plague.

Police call in Italy comic over Parmalat comments.

Milan - January 16, 2004 - Italian police called in one of Italy's top comedians on Friday to explain comments he made in his shows about the risk of bankruptcy at the food group long before its crisis erupted.

Beppe Grillo, famous for his political satire, met financial police officers in the northern city of Piacenza. Later he explained about a 2001 dinner with an unnamed official from the now-insolvent food group which provided the inspiration for performances since then.

"We talked about lots of companies and he told me: 'Mention them all but don't talk about us because our debts are only 13 trillion (lire) which is the same as revenues but compared with others we are princes," Grillo said in a telephone interview.

Italian television stunned viewers last week by playing footage of Grillo talking about the risk of bankruptcy at Parmalat during a September 2003 performance. Parmalat filed for bankruptcy protection in December after suddenly revealing a four billion Euro hole in its accounts. Prosecutors believe the shortfall could surpass 10 billion euros, making it one of the world's biggest financial scandals.

It must be a real comfort to all the hard working people in the world that invested in Parmalat that an Italian comic had to be brought in to testify about the biggest corporate scandal in the history of the universe.

Thanks to his testimony, the Italian police came close to cracking the case after they tried to decode his last comments:

"Okay, two Jews walked into a bar and there was this chicken..."

Italy tries to bribe its way to a baby boom!

Laviano - December 6, 2003 - Christmas will be extra special for Antonietta Molinaro this year. Not only is she about to give birth but she is also in line for a hefty "baby bonus" from the local mayor.

Perched high in the Apennine hills south-east of Naples, Laviano is edging towards extinction as poor road links and a lack of jobs push the young away. In an attempt to reverse the trend, the mayor, Rocco Falivena, is digging into town coffers and offering couples 10,000 Euros ($16,460) for every newborn baby.

"It's a lot of money, but this is our top priority," he said. "We are talking about the very survival of our town."

Laviano is not alone in its fight for life. Scores of towns the length of southern Italy are dying out. But wherever Italians choose to live, the birth rate across the country is near rock bottom and the traditional stereotype of the Italian mamma and her squadrons of bambini is far from the truth. IRPPS's Antonio Golini also pointed to the failure of Italian men to take on an equal share of family tasks.

The result: Italy has the oldest population in the world, and the Government is all too aware of the burden that puts on the economy. Like Mr. Falivena, it is planning its own baby bonus aimed at jump-starting the birth rate.

The 2004 budget includes a one-off 1000 Euro payment to Italians on the birth of their second child, a measure set to run until the end of 2004.

Mr. Gesano said the payment was not the answer. "Italians are not so poor that a one-off payment of 1000 Euros is going to make them have children... It may convince a few hundred couples to have kids earlier than planned but it's not going to radically change the birth rate," he said.  

We agree with Signore Gesano. The real reasons why Italians are not having enough babies are the following:
-Ugly Italian people
-Not enough sex
-Cold water

Sicily Man Arranges Shooting to Woo Woman.

Rome - December 26, 2003 - A man in Sicily asked a friend to shoot him in the groin in the hope of making his ex-girlfriend feel sorry for him, police said on Friday.

Police in the central Sicilian city of Piazza Armerina said they became suspicious when the 27-year-old went to hospital with wounds from a hunting rifle's pellets in the groin area.

At first he said the wounds had been caused in a hunting accident, but later admitted he had asked a friend, 16, to shoot him in an attempt to win back the affection of his girlfriend, who had apparently left him because of his violent character.

The man's wounds are expected to heal, doctors said. Police said the man, and the 16-year-old, had been charged in connection with the shooting. Local reports said the man's ex-girlfriend had made it clear she never wanted to see him again. 

Next time try a greeting card.

A bit of advice to men all over the world who seem to be obsessed with Italian women like this poor sap: Ever see a nature film where they show a coyote eat off its own leg to escape a trap?...Start chewing.


Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
Subscribe today to the best Italian news ezine in the history of the Roman Empire, pizza, and electricity.
Day in and day out, 5 days a week, you’ll have laughter, tears and intelligent commentary all blaring at you from your stupid little monitor.
Fill in the form to subscribe to the newsletter:
Your E-mail address:
Subscribe Unsubscribe
Please check your e-mail address and make sure it is correct.
May not be copied, stored or redistributed without prior, written permission. "Only In Italy" is a registered trademark of FromItaly di Ciccarello.