Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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bulletCase: "He's a great stockbroker and necktie designer."
 
Peppino's Insurance Co.
"We'll protect you...one way or another!"
Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034  -  Sicily ITALY

 

Dear Signora Patrizia Williams,

Buon giorno! How are you today?

Signora Williams, I am writing to you regarding your company's presence in Italy. According to our contacts in Milan, you have a very strong influence regarding important investment decisions made by the brilliant managers that pretend to work in these offices.

It has come to our attention that you are not very faithful to the stockbroker religion of "diversifying". In fact, you have this rather mental addiction to investing in technology stocks and options. It's very important for our organization in Italy to know exactly where Merrill Flinch is going for we also have very important business interests with your company. After all, we provide the special "insurance" coverage for your offices in Milan.

Signora Williams, we really do not want to be forced into the field of procrastination with you because we have many other business interests to follow. Today's technology is wonderful but a home with 5 online computers connected to everything including the kitchen sink makes life more difficult...not easier! However, we have been considering the wise and reasonable advice of a popular necktie designer named Signore Denver who also just happens to work for your company.

Now, we do not know exactly what you look like but how attractive can a female investment manager who is obsessed with technology stocks be? However, Signore Denver has mentioned to us that you are positively attractive and are a strong and high achieving wonder of life.

Is this true, Signora Williams? It must be because we faithfully trust the professional opinions of Signore Denver.

Signora Williams, we also feel that you should be reminded that Signore Denver is a valuable asset for your company. He does not criticize your ideas externally no matter how wacky they may become. He is your best defender; the best ambassador of what you decide!

When he is not busy designing Italian neckties he is asking for your advice and opinions. Instead of sleeping and taking showers, he spends his time participating and contributing in your informal network. He is defensive about information fed by people you do not necessarily think are the best sources.

He is not a "monkey transferor" although at times he may look like a monkey. He will never put a problem on your shoulders. He'll find a solution or at least options.

Signora Williams, we sincerely hope that you will thoroughly reflect upon the hard work and wise decisions of your best stockbroker. Remember, it is very hard to find a trustworthy stockbroker who can also design a nice necktie. We understand that it is a rather weird career combination but all is to be expected today from geniuses of the world of finance and investments. We expect his necktie business will do very well here in Italy. Donít you agree?

Thank you and Tanti Saluti da Corleone!

Don Peppino

 

 
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