|Case: "I will not visit Sicily because I'm in love with France."|
- Peppino's Insurance Co.
- "We'll protect you...one way or another!"
- Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034 - Sicily ITALY
Dear Signore Marco,
Buon giorno! Come stai?
Did you enjoy your birthday?
Signore Marco, I am writing to you regarding a heartfelt letter written to us by our close "paesano", Signore Marco Perry.
It has come to our attention that Signore Perry has humbly invited you to visit our wonderful island of Sicily on numerous occasions. After all, he is a man of great taste, sense and culture. But you have repeatedly refused these invitations as if you consider them to be an insult to you and your family. Why is that, Signore Marco?
Then we came to understand that you have this sort of sick love and fascination for the country of France.
FRANCE, Signore Marco? Isn't this the head-butting country that lost the World Cup to Italy this summer? In your right mind, how can you possibly favor France over Italy? You must be full of crap and immobile from all that French wine.
It's an amazing country, isn't it, Signore Marco?
Maybe you can tell us why the French want to rewrite history? This is a country that was conquered in a couple of afternoons and then became the top producing country for the Nazis during the war. They try to convince everyone that they were part of the big invasion. The French weren't part of any invasion. They were already invaded! How can you be part of an invasion in your own country? Those snail-eating rats did everything but trim Hitler's moustache...and they would have gladly done that as well.
Did it come as a surprise that you had to redo the roof of your home in Bassoues? It shouldn't. The previous owner was too lazy to finish or repair it. Look at the Eiffel Tower. Those lazy French never finished it. Where's the walls and plaster? You can see right through the stupid thing! We have the Tower of Pisa. Yes, it leans but at least we finish what we start!
And what about France's contribution to world cuisine? Do you know what they gave us, Signore Marco?
- The Soufflé: A flat cake; something puffed up with a lot of hot air and full of fattening crap.
- Cordon Bleu: Sausage and eggs or heart disease on a plate.
- Escargot: A bunch of slugs in fattening butter.
Signore Marco, you should also try to refrain yourself from criticizing Signore Perry when you go cycling. What courage?! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You are an ugly person, you look twice his age and your arteries must do a song and dance from all that fine French cuisine you've inhaled.
Regardless of your ignorance for the fine things in life and contrary to our beliefs, your dear friend, Signore Perry, wishes you the best and hopes you will reconsider a possible visit to Sicily.