Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034  -  Sicily ITALY

 

Caro Signore Cordero,

Buon giorno! Come sta? Tutto bene?

Signore Corduroy, I appreciate the time you are taking out to read our letter. After all, you are an extremely busy individual who tackles the world at a fast and fierce pace earning the respect from all. You're our hero.

I am writing to you regarding a few complaints we have received from our friend and business associate, Signore Roberto Corti.

It has come to our attention that your lack of respect and sincerity towards Roberto is turning into a real nuisance. Why is it so difficult to show him some respect by returning his phone calls in a timely and proper manner? What are you so busy doing that you can't find the time to get back to people. We couldn't give a rat's ass about the rest of humanity that you ignore but Signore Roberto is a warm and social business man.

From what we understand, it sometimes takes you four days to return a courtesy call. Very nice, Signore Corduroy. Perhaps, we should be a little more comprehensive with you. After all, it is time consuming to dial a phone with your foot.

Signore Roberto is also a busy man, Signore Ricky. The cheeks of his ass are not exactly quivering with anticipation as he awaits your return call. However, you should not worry too much about this situation because he does not hate you...but he's not crazy about you either.

To ease the load in your incredibly busy day, you now have voice mail. It's a great little invention you subscribed to to handle the influx of people who call you constantly in search of the truth and help to make it through this world.

But the machine is always full, Signore Corduroy. How silly. How stupid.

And when that time of the year comes when you're feeling depressed because no one appreciates you or shows respect towards you, you curl up on the couch and watch the "Godfather" flicks. Per favore. You must 'poop' plenty about your favorite scenes and dialogues. It doesn't matter how many times you watch these films, Signore Ricky, because you will never grasp the meanings of the films. It must cause you as much confusion as air does.

Now, Signore Corduroy, you should thank your lucky stars every day that you have a friend like Signore Roberto and that he puts up with your silly crap. We strongly advise that you go over to his home, kiss his hand and ask what you can do to make things better. Force yourself to emanate some warmth and goodness by taking him out to his favorite restaurant.

Thanks for your time, Signore Ricky. We sincerely hope we do not have to teach you another lesson on how to conduct yourself within a perfect Italian society.
 

Tanti Saluti,

Don Peppino

 

 
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