Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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Dear Signore Miles,

Buon Giorno, Signore Miles! How are you today? We certainly hope you didn't go too out of your way to open this letter. After all, you are an extremely busy individual. You could have even pulled a hamstring.

Signore Miles, I would appreciate it if you would just place the beer down for one moment and reflect upon this letter. I am writing to you regarding several complaints we've received about the fulfilling life you are living.

It has come to our attention that your lazy and self-centered football attitude towards the human race is turning into a real nuisance and it should be moderated drastically! Word of your crappy behavior has even reached the ears of your fellow friends in the Seffner area and they are shocked and embarrassed! In other words, you've become a real pain in the ass to a lot of people and its getting tiring.

Regardless of what comes out of your loud mouth, football season is officially over and your friends have asked us to intervene.

We're perplexed, Signore Marco. You have 4 lovely daughters who look up to you. You're supposed to be a role model to them but it's kind of difficult when you're picking fleas off yourself. You don't like to work anymore which we can understand especially if one paces himself like a slug. Your motto must be, "Let’s get nothing done and onward to the next beer".

And have you seen the way you dress? Running around society without underwear; that's birth control, Signore Marco!

We’re all here, no matter what we are; we're all searching for the truth and trying to make it through this world. Right? Well, everyone except you. You claim to know the truth.

Your incredibly interesting life consists of football, fishing, working out, taking naps, beer and farting. Life is a prom for you, Signore Miles, and you're the homecoming queen.

You're special. We are all aware of that, Signore Marco. You're entitled to the world’s gifts. When you walk into a restaurant it should give free food to you. And when it doesn't, you simply leave. You remind us of Emperor Nero who played the fiddle while Rome burned

Signore Miles, we sincerely hope you will reflect upon these words of wisdom. Pull yourself together and start acting like a responsible man. You should try skipping a restaurant bill in Corleone. The owners will have you cleaning the dishes, the restaurant and the 675 cows and sheep in the backyard.
 

Tanti Saluti,

Don Peppino

 

 
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