Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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bulletCase: "The Wise Ass Scottish Webmaster."
 
Peppino's Insurance Co.
"We'll protect you...one way or another!"
Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034  -  Sicily ITALY

 

Dear Signore Webmaster Andrew Canty,

Buon giorno! How are you? Has the food in Lancashire improved yet or are we still stuck with the fish and chips? Don't worry, we're sure it's better than anything you'll find in good ol' Scotland.

Master Andy, I am writing to you regarding a few complaints we have received from our dear friend, Dean Porpora, better known as "Dean Purple" and his affectionate family.

It has come to our attention that you created an incident where you banned Signore Porpora and his family from your incredibly entertaining website and even went as far as refusing to reimburse the membership fees for a total of 9 pounds. Believe it or not, this brilliant act of arrogance and stupidity of yours reached the ears of the Porpora Family here in Sicily.

From what we understand, not only did you refuse to reimburse these fees but you insulted the family and declared to have spent the money that did not belong to you on Ebay. Excuse our language, Master Andy, but you sure have raw testicles. Could it possibly be true that all this occurred over a fabricated lie?

You're a responsible webmaster, Signore Andy, and we assume earning an incredible amount of money being so. Instead of confronting this small misunderstanding responsibly, you deliberately humiliated Signore Porpora, banned him from your forum and stole his money.

How silly! How stupid!

When Signore Porpora announced that he would be supporting the Italian team on November 17, you took great offense and decided to continue your abuse towards him. Why Master Andy? You do realize the Scotties will lose again, don't you? The last improvements made to Scotland were from William Wallace. It's been down hill ever since.

Master Andy, according to our insurance records, you owe Signore Porpora the approximate amount of 327 pounds plus 27% monthly interest, which comes to a total of 5398 pounds for over a period of 13 months. But out of the goodness of "Dean Purple's" heart and contrary to our professional advice, he will accept an online apology and settle for the debt amount of 2652 pounds which will be paid in monthly installments of 204 pounds beginning with the upcoming month of November.

Is this very clear, Master Andy Canty?

Master Andy, we sincerely hope we will never have to be in the ugly position again of receiving another complaint from our dear friend on your ignorant jackass behavior. If we do, instead of stopping SPAM that tries to enter your stupid forum, you'll be working on avoiding SPAM meat we'll shove up your Scottish ass.
 

Tanti Saluti,

Don Peppino

 

 
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