Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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Dear Signore John Fritta,

Buon giorno, Signore Fritta! Come stai? Have you enjoyed your summer so far?

Signore Fritta, I am writing to you regarding numerous complaints we have received from the Italian-American communities on Long Island and your dear relatives in the USA and Corleone. It has come to our attention that you claim to have climbed the Corleone ladders of success without approval from the board of directors. Congratulations! How brave! And all this from visiting Italy a couple of times. We have so much to learn from you, don't we?

Now, Signore Fritta, we were informed that you are deeply in love with our town and our culture. Well, we cannot blame you! However; we are curious to know what "connections" do you have? Who are you connecting with? You claim you're in the position to make a "phone call" to resolve any problems that could arise. Cazzo, Signore Fritta, who the hell are you calling? A pharmacist? You should see the puzzled and nervous faces of your Sicilian relatives when we ask them the same questions.

But we would like to help you, Signore Fritta, because you obviously need help. You have to stop watching all that television on the mob and get out more often. The lack of fresh air is causing your cranium to grow thicker forcing you to say more and more stupid things. We'll start off with your knowledge of Italian.

We've tried getting in contact with you by calling your cell phone but we get a very strange voice mail intro message. We don't understand if you're trying to talk Italian, Sicilian, Pig Latin, Pig Italian, or Romanian.

You disgraziato!

In your limited spare time you'll participate in three crash courses; sheep herding, "arancine" (rice ball) cooking and how to keep your trap shut.

You will leave the incredible excitement of Northport and your idiot students, Signore Fritta, because they couldn't care less about learning a language they'll never use in life. You will learn to make friends with various personalities from Chicago and New York. It will help if you bring the names of your fellow "sbirri" (cops) who will be more than willing to break the so-called code of ethics and lose some integrity to make a few extra bucks on the side.

In the meantime, Signore Fritta, we sincerely hope your new lessons on Corleone will enlighten and teach you a very valuable lesson about growing up a real "made" person. Quite frankly, we don't think you'll ever learn but it will certainly be fun watching you try.

Thank you and Tanti Saluti da Corleone!

Don Peppino

 

 
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