Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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bulletCase: "My sister owes me $3500. Will I ever see it?"
 
Peppino's Insurance Co.
"We'll protect you...one way or another!"
Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034  -  Sicily ITALY

 

Dear Mrs. Sonia Beck,

Buon giorno! How are you??

Mrs. Beck, I am writing to you regarding complaints we have received from our dear friend, Signora Janet Smith, your sister. It is best that you relax with a drink before you continue reading this letter for it is not pleasant.

It has come to our attention that your taking advantage of her is starting to worsen. We were quite shocked and embarrassed when we heard this sad news. How could this happen to Signora Janet of all people? She is well known here in Sicily for her warm nature and generous disposition.

Regardless, she has asked us to quietly intervene.

Now, Mrs. Beck, Janet is a fantastic human being and trustworthy friend of ours. You should thank your lucky stars every day that you have a sister like her. The Family is supposed to be the most important aspect of your life but you have already begun to betray it. You should not have burdened your son's misfortunate gambling problems with the Family. The Family comes before everything.

EVERYTHING, Mrs. Beck!

According to our insurance records, you owe Janet the approximate amount of $3500 plus 27% monthly interest, which comes to a total of $11,563 for over a period of 5 months. But out of the goodness of Janet's heart and contrary to our professional advice, she will settle for the original debt amount of $3500 which will be paid in monthly installments of $50 beginning with the upcoming month of May.

Is this clear, Mrs. Beck?

We strongly advise that your son return on the right track in life and begin to organize the payments to Signora Janet.

Okay, Mrs. Beck, we sincerely hope that this has taught you a very valuable lesson in life. You are very aware that this unfortunate incident has caused a falling out with the Family and we hope for your sake it does not precipitate further.

Give our deepest respects to Signora Janet and we hope we never have to receive another complaint from her ever again.

Thank you and Tanti Saluti da Corleone!

Don Peppino

 

 
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