Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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Caro Signore Jimenez,

Buon giorno! Come sta?

Signore Jimenez, I am writing to you regarding a few complaints we have received from the concerned relatives of the Cavallino family here in Italy.

It has come to our attention that your boring and annoying attitude towards Signorina Maryann has turned into a real nuisance and it should be moderated drastically! Word of your crappy behavior has reached the ears of the friends and relatives of the Cavallino dynasty in Italy and, quite frankly, they are shocked and embarrassed! In other words, you've become a real pain in the ass and everyone is starting to get tired of it.

We can't understand your behavior, Signore Jimenez. Signorina Maryann is a beautiful and sweet girl and she deserves everything that a descent man should offer. And that means spending all your spare time trying to please her.

But, obviously, you haven't done so because you spend it playing sports like golf. That's a silly sport you play when you're old, retired and have nothing else better to do in life!

We've also received a photo of you, Signore Jimenez, and we must admit your looks worry us. You're obviously not Italian, correct?

Can you please explain the slicked hair, pointy shoes and skinny body to us? People who are too skinny are people who are too nervous to eat. Why are you nervous? What are you hiding?

You also speak extremely fast. People that speak fast are people that are trying to avoid issues. What issues are you avoiding? What are you hiding?

We don't understand you, Signore Jimenez. The family never experienced any problems with Signore Tom Fartley. He respected her and did not betray the family. Do you have intentions of betraying the family? You’ll surely regret it if you do.

We are very interested in hearing from Signorina Maryann to find out where this relation is heading. Afterwards, the family will decide whether it should continue or not.

Signore Jimenez, we sincerely hope we do not receive another complaint from the friends and relatives of the Cavallino family. We're tired of it. If we do, then seeing how much you like to cut deals in your spare time, we'll make you a deal you can't refuse.

Thank you and Tanti Saluti da Corleone!

Don Peppino

 

 
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