Send a Mafia Threat from Corleone, Sicily!

	Peppino's Insurance Co. *"We'll protect you...one way or another!"*
Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034 - Sicily ITALY Dear Signore Davide East, Buon giorno! How are you? Signore Davide, I am writing to you regarding complaints we have received from your dear wife, Debra. It has come to our attention that your lack of respect towards her is starting to worsen. We were quite shocked and embarrassed for her when we heard this sad news. How could this happen to your wonderful wife? Regardless, seeing that you will not listen to anyone, she has asked us to quietly intervene. Now, Davide, your wife has explained to us that you suffer from the addiction of "CLAPP" for your second wife, your Royal Star Tour Deluxe. May anything get through that thick cranium of yours to convince you that your bike has everything it needs? Why don't you sign it up for mental therapy for when it gets depressed from lack of touring? We also wanted to break the news to you that your wife also has the same bike as yours and it needs maintaining! Were you aware of this? Do we have to fly over to your house and show you what's in your garage? Could we be correct when we write that you may also be suffering from the "YAPITA" disease? That's the "you're a pain in the ass" disease. Signore Davide, as we also told your wife, we honestly believe that you no longer are mentally aware of what you are doing with your bike because you're dizzy from sucking in too many fumes from the exhaust pipe. You really need some fresh air. We strongly advise you do the following: First, take a look and see how your wife's bike is doing. Did it occur to you that this bike may also need maintenance? Secondly, after you finish taking care of her bike, take her out for a wonderful Italian dinner and apologize for your childish behavior. Okay, Signore Davide, we sincerely hope that this has taught you a very valuable lesson. Give our deepest respects to your dear wife, Debra, and we hope we never have to receive another complaint from her ever again. Otherwise, we'll make sure that each time you lock your fork, your wife will lock the dinner forks so you no longer eat! Thank you and Tanti Saluti da Corleone! Don Peppino