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Rome - January 19, 2015 - Getting a college degree in Italy is much less likely to lead to a job when compared to many other countries in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD), according to the OECD's Education at a Glance 2014 report released several days earlier. The average unemployment rate in the 34 OECD countries for those with a college degree is 5%, while in Italy that number shamelessly jumps to over 16%. Italy also figured in a group of five countries with the most low-qualified adults aged 25-34, defined as those without a high school diploma or otherwise below upper secondary education. However, Italy did the best in that group where less than 30% of those aged 25-34 lacked a high-school diploma.
Well, the stats are in. The debate over whether Italian college is worth the headache and time may have taken a decisive turn. Declines in employment and wages in Italy are considerably more severe for those with...MORE education! How reassuring. Makes you want to pour your pasta over your head, doesn't it? Don't get us wrong. It's not that Italian college grads who were lucky to find jobs were generally not settling for lower wages. With starting salaries for newly grads at 500-800 Euros ($570-900 USD) a MONTH, what choice do you have? A college education is supposed to be an important differentiator in economic mobility. We're getting tired of embracing the promise of the "Italian Dream," the idea that anyone who studies and works hard can live the "Dolce Vita", especially when you know there's a typical unschooled nincompoop out there with a comfy public state job, thanks to some political favor, and whose only important qualification on his resume is the ability to organize cheese in alphabetical order. "Porca vacca," today's youth has to understand they have to learn a useful trade like our forefathers did and keep the traditions of Italian artisanship alive...such as not leaving receipts. Oh, and who's going to sit down with the parents and explain to them that the dream is over? "Oh cacchio, I can't believe what I'm hearing. We're going to have a 'dottore' and a degree in this house. What are we supposed to do, give the idea to relatives and Archpriest Nino that we've failed at parenthood!?"
Vatican City - January 19, 2015 - Pope Francis said Monday that being a good Catholic "does not mean breeding like rabbits". "Responsible parenthood is the point," said Francis on the flight back to Rome from the Philippine capital of Manila. "This is why the church has pastors," Francis said. "We must look for a helpful way out, and the synod will do that". The pope went on to decry the extremes of great poverty and great wealth. "Maybe we are returning to a 'caste system', and maybe when people are discarded and marginalized, we can talk about State terrorism," said the pontiff. Francis also told how he was once the target of a bribery attempt in Buenos Aires, when he had just become archbishop of the Argentine capital city. "In that moment I thought 'what do I do?'" Francis said. "I can insult them, kick them where the sun never shines, or play dumb". "I played dumb," said the pope.
"Conigli...?" Here in the office we took turns reading between the lines, taking notes, and this is the best we could come up with: We're under the impression that...many Catholics are under the impression that they DO have to breed like rabbits. So, they can be seen by the Church as devoted Catholic rabbits? We don't know what time era the Pope is living in, but here we haven't seen this level of "amore" in ages. Contrary to popular belief, Italian women do not have enough sex partners in their lifetime. We'll give you some of our family statistics, for example: One of our mothers is practically at "zero". We don't even think she's had sex with her husband. So, she's wrecking the curve. And as for Italian men...we don't need sex constantly in order to be happy (or a good Catholic). We're happy if we can get up in the morning with no one yelling at us. "Responsible parenthood is the point," said Francis... That's also our point, Pope. The idea Italian families have of parenthood is not responsible: 1) You have some Italian mothers who are Pollyanna smirking "responsible" individuals who fawn all over their little Italian berserkers, spoiling them. And you know most of them truly grow up to be just that...berserkers!
2) It never occurs to some "responsible" Italian parents that there are some matters that should be kept private and within the family. That there is no need to issue emergency-like news bulletins to relatives.
Looks like this rant is heading in the wrong direction. Time to go back and play dumb.
Naples - January 19, 2015 - Homophobic insults and swastikas were found yesterday written on bridal show advertisements which depicted same-sex couples getting married. The advertised event was open to same-sex couples, and the homophobic vandalism was condemned by gay rights organization Arcigay's Naples president, Antonello Sannino. "To the cowards who covered these signs, we respond with the words of Mayor Luigi De Magistris: 'Love will bury homophobia'," Sannino said.
Posting openly gay-friendly ads in a city like Naples? According to the Rainbow Map 2013 established by ILGA Europe, with a rate of "respect for human rights and equality" of 19 percent, Italy is one of the least protective European countries for sexual minorities. So in other words, when in Italy, it's every gay for himself. We would also like to point out that it's not a coincidence that the same rate of respect the Napolitani have towards...just about anyone is about the same percentage (just slightly higher during the annual San Gennaro feast). And at the end of that rainbow you're only going to find a city plagued by accusations of homophobia, held together by cardboard and scotch tape. Of course, our gay readers are probably saying to themselves, "But these innocent ads depicting pure love are also a useful means of increasing acceptance and understanding of our discriminated groups." True, but you know it will always come down to the refusal to assimilate...your refusal. "Porca Eva," the Napolitani don't want to assimilate. They can't! Don't you get it? It's not in their blood. You can lay out all the constructive criticism you want in a calm and sensible manner and they'll still respond by yelling in an incomprehensible dialect. They'll make you understand that...there is only so many toppings you can put on a pizza before you go overboard. "To the cowards who covered these signs, we respond with the words of Mayor Luigi De Magistris: 'Love will bury homophobia'" Is that so? If Cupid ever makes an appearance in Naples, they'll clip his wings and sell his bow and arrows on the street market at half price.
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