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What the hell do you do with 629,000 official state cars? |
Rome - February 6, 2015 - Civil Service Minister Marianna Madia stated in a
Twitter post that in the next 10 days the number of chauffeured state cars
(629,000 units) for bureaucrats must be cut.
"The relevant public administrations shall inform me on how they will adapt
to the decrease in #autoblu," she wrote in a tweet.
The so-called 'blue state cars' currently used extensively by hundreds of
agencies and departments has been a symbol of government excess.
The stats:
| USA: 73,000 |
| France: 65,000 |
| Great Britain: 55,000 |
| Germany: 54,000 |
| Japan: 35,000 |
| Italy: 629,000 (we win!) |
First in the world ranking of chauffeur-driven "official state" cars!
First in the Guinness book of world records "della minchia"!
We demand that you congratulate us now and bow before our mighty legion
of state automobiles!
"Do the Italian public administrations need hundreds of thousands of
official cars?"
"Si," because we have hundreds of thousands of incredibly important
Italian officials that need to get to places. After all, these are
individuals who make our 2,700-year-old country run smoothly and
efficiently.
"Do they also need hundreds of thousands of chauffeurs driving them
around?"
"Si," but don't be mistaken. They are expert drivers who are quite
capable at cutting you off, speeding, running red lights, following
ambulances and using emergency lanes...all while calling up the office to
make sure the espresso coffee machine is on and the pc hard drive is warming
up.
"Can't they carpool or take mass transit? Who the hell do they think
they are?"
Careful, that's blasphemy. You forget these are Italians with stars
shining over their heads, eager to manage exciting things. Their
importance is as big as the Roman Empire so, it is only fitting they are
escorted to their government fortresses in modern bullet proof chariots.
"Finally, a female minister with common sense and courage who will see
that the number of state cars are cut!"
Absolutely! We're looking forward to it. Then again...there's always
that over-looming panic that she could possibly bite the hands that feed
her.
Her announcement came via a tweet and a fast trending hashtag
#autoblu. Hopefully the "relevant" public administrations got the chance
to catch the tweet on their Twitter feeds.
One of the minister's followers had more interaction with the
following tweet: "Should I prepare three layers of #lasagna? Well, how
about nine? Wouldn't that be better?"
What can you do with WWII bombs?
|
Bologna - February 5, 2015 - Italian police arrested eight people accused of
being part of a mafia clan which looted a sunken Second World War ship for its
bombs and weapons arsenal.
Those arrested are allegedly part of the Franco clan of the ‘Ndrangheta mafia
in Reggio Calabria. As well as being accused of a string of crimes including
extortion and drug trafficking, they are believed to have robbed explosives from
a nearby warship.
The Laura C Italian Navy ship sunk off the Calabrian coast during the Second
World War, and has since been looted by the ‘Ndrangheta mafia, state news said.
Reports of the weapons haul come just days after a Second World War bomb
disappeared in central Italy. Bologna’s prosecutor opened an investigation after
a 70cm unexploded bomb vanished from Fontanelice, where it had been spotted in
December after a river flooded.
Removal of the bomb was set for January 15th, but the explosive was robbed a
few days before, authorities reported.
Lovely, isn't it? You must be wondering:
1) "WWII ended 70 years ago. Did the Italian government have any
intentions of removing the bombs off their sunken ships?"
Well, in their defense we're sure they were going to get around to it.
It had to be on some Evernote agenda somewhere in Rome. True, it's pure
irresponsibility and the looted bombs should have been removed in two shakes
of lamb's tail...but a typical official response you would get from the
Ministry of Defense is, "lambs don't have tails."
However, the Italian authorities were all set to remove the one that
washed up in a river in Fontanelice. They could have removed it sooner
before it was stolen...if it weren't for bad timing: It was discovered in
December.
You see, there was the Christmas Season to consider, New Year's Eve
and Day, and the Epiphany on Tuesday, January 6. Stretch out the festive
season for a few more days because you have to complete the week, and
everyday life returns to normal on Monday, January 12, three days before the
scheduled removal.
Again, unfortunately, sometime during the festive celebrations, some
"faccia di culo" somewhere tipped off a mobster and...you
then say "ciao" to the bomb.>
2) "How long has this crap been going on?"
Oh, since your great grandparents were born, but it seems longer.
The FBI believes that 'Ndrangheta was formed in the 1860s by some
group of angry Sicilians exiled from Sicily. Instead of taking out their
violent revenge on their betrayers and families, as per tradition, they
decided to slowly take on the world. For example, in 1973, some of them
kidnapped oil tycoon heir John Paul Getty III. They eventually received $2.7
million from Getty's family, but only after cutting off his ear.
3) "Congratulations, this is out of Italy's hands! Can't the U.N. or NATO
invade Calabria like a foreign country and stop them?"
Too late... ’Ndrangheta has been spreading abroad for years.
It's active in almost every country of Western civilization. They have a
network of hundreds of family gangs based in Calabria and around the world.
They remain close by maintaining strict blood ties via intermarriage,
and there are families that have intermarried as many as four times in the
20th century. It's no wonder they have family trees that look like
telephone poles.
By the way, if you are of southern Italian origin, there is a 91%
chance you or a close relative belong to this thriving criminal bloodline.
4) How do innocent Italians cope with all this chaos?
First of all, there is no such thing as an innocent Italian.
Period.
Second, Italians have become shell-shocked and immune to all the crime
that surrounds us. But when the day comes that we find a WWII bomb planted
in our car, that will be the deciding factor to leave Italy and move to
Arkansas.
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Reading, writing and arithmetic...and anti-mafia and
anti-corruption
|
Rome - February 5, 2015 - Italy's education minister, Stefania Giannini,
anti-mafia prosecutor, anti-corruption authority president and the association
of magistrates president signed a charter of intent to teach a culture of
lawfulness in Italian schools.
"Repression alone is not enough to fight the mafia and corruption, but rather
it needs to be accompanied by education," the signatories said.
"In the fight against the mafia and corruption the common enemy is
ignorance," the education minister told students.
"A good school education goes in the direction of knowledge and development
of an ethical conscience," she added.
The charter contemplates organising activities within school civics programs
aimed at fighting the mafia and organised crime. These include information
campaigns, training for students, teachers and families and lessons promoting a
culture of lawfulness among other things.
Ahhh...just another day of Italians trying to perfect civil society.
You read an article like this and you say to yourself, "Puttana della
miseria, this is coming from a minister of education and an
anti-mafia this and an anti-corruption that."
How do you explain to Italian school kids the world of its
one-of-a-kind facacta government and judicial system? If few Italian adults
fully understand the legal issues of breaking the law, how could you explain
them to a class of 8-year-olds, in spite of their above-average intelligence and
semi-positive orientation to the law?
"Hey, bambini, stay in school, don't do drugs, eat your vegetables,
stay away from the Mafia, don't trust escorts, don't accept bribes, blackmail
can backfire..."
Italian legislators want to help our children develop an ethical
conscience. First, how about giving children the answers to the following
questions (preferably before lunch in order to avoid chucking it up):
- My school is a public institution for learning. Why is it being
held together by cardboard, scotch tape and Elmer's glue?
- Why is my principal running my school like the captain of the
Costa Concordia, and how long before it capsizes?
- Why is there more Mafia in Italy than maple syrup in Vermont?
- Is being tormented into selecting a political party before my First
Communion part of my development of an ethical conscience?
- If the common enemy to fight is ignorance, why is 94% of Italy's
public workforce filled with ignorant eggplants and zucchini with
connections to politicians and the Mafia?
- In 2011, the education minister herself chartered a state jet (16,400
Euros, $17,300 USD) to fly herself and actor-comedian Roberto Benigni to the
European Parliament for a show of readings from Dante's Divine Comedy,
proposed by the actor. Is this why Dante said Italy is an 'inn of woe,
slavish and base...a brothel's space'?
- Would the education minister take our advice and go into another more
educational line of work like dry cleaning?
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