"Salve ragazzi!" Welcome to another cured meats issue of, "Only In Italy!"

The more I read your great up front no holds barred newsletter, I realize that we here in America have a Mafia worse than you guys in Italy. It's called the "Gubermint". Your government may work for the Mafia. Our government IS the Mafia. Elena "Not the Kagen One"

Thanks for your political comment, Elena. We firmly believe that politics are politics, it doesn't really matter what country one resides. However, what distinguishes the difference is the level of entertainment they are giving. Ours can "poop plenty" about their politics and they'll throw in the occasional song and dance.

As far as Mafia infiltration goes, there is not a Western country that can compete with us (not even the USA). We have lots of Mafia. You know how Asia has lots of soy sauce? We have Mafia.  

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Rome - September 15, 2010- An ice cream advert showing a heavily-pregnant nun has been banned for "making a mockery" of the beliefs of Roman Catholics.

The ad, for Antonio Federici ice cream, showed the nun holding a tub of ice cream with the slogans "Immaculately conceived" and "Ice cream is our religion".

Ten readers complained that the ad, which appeared in "The Lady" and "Grazia" magazines, was offensive to Christians, especially Catholics, according a local news agency. Banning the image, the Advertising Standards Authority said ads "should contain nothing that is likely to cause serious or widespread offence".

It said: "We considered the use of a nun pregnant through immaculate conception was likely to be seen as a distortion and mockery of the beliefs of Roman Catholics.

"We concluded that to use such an image in a lighthearted way to advertise ice cream was likely to cause serious offence to readers, particularly those who practiced the Roman Catholic faith."

Defending the ad, Antonio Federici said the idea of "conception" represented the development of their ice cream, and their use of religious imagery stemmed from their strong feelings towards their product. The company said it also wished to "comment on and question, using satire and gentle humor, the relevance and hypocrisy of religion and the attitudes of the church to social issues".

The publishers of "The Lady" received eight complaints made directly to them and said that, in hindsight, it had been a "misjudgment" on their part to publish the ad.

"Grazia" magazine said it considered that the ad was intended to be lighthearted and not mocking of any religious groups.

You know, we still have no idea what all the Italian brouhaha is. Is it about the banned ad or the fact that there are Italians who are still reading magazines?

Someone has to explain to Signore Federeci, the gelato kingpin, that it's ice cream. It's just ice cream, "cazzarola!" He reminds us of one of those Italian experts who are in rapid expansion. He won't let you take a lick from your ice cream cone without showing off his expertise and giving miserable stares at pathetic people like you who simply put gelato in 2 categories (dessert, what to have on a hot day).

"The publishers of "The Lady" received eight complaints..." That's it? Eight?! Someone should also tell the editor of "The Lady" that the ad was a failure. By the way, for anyone interested in becoming an Italian magazine editor here's how. Just repeat the phrase, "Boh, I don't know. What do you think?"

Antonio Federici: "the idea of "conception" represented the development of their ice cream, and their use of religious imagery stemmed from their strong feelings towards their product." This is a man who is as brilliant as the inventor of the mozzarella but an ad department run by Armani's plumber.

We think everyone in Italy has gone out of their minds. When we saw the ad, the only strong feelings we felt was not for the ice cream but the anger and frustration we suffered during our elementary school years in Catholic schools run by psychopathic nuns.

"Fanculo", forget the gelato! We need a few drinks to help get over the trauma.

Rome - September 15, 2010 - Italy's workers have the right to be paid for the time it takes them to change into and out of their overalls at the workplace, the nation's supreme Court of Cassation said on Wednesday.

The court set the precedent by ruling against Unilever after a group of the multinational's Italian employees sued it for failing to pay them for getting changed.

The giant producer of foods, cleaning and personal care goods said it was not liable to pay 'overalls time' because it did not require "assiduous application". But Italy's top judges disagreed on the grounds that Unilever requires its workers to get changed at the workplace following set rules.

"If the worker can choose when and where to put on the overall (perhaps at home before setting off for work), this activity is an act of preparation for work and should not be paid," the supreme court said.

"If the operation is managed by the employer, who regulates the time and place it should be performed, it is part of the actual job and therefore the time should be paid".

The Cassation sentence upholds previous rulings that established the workers should be paid 10 minutes 'overalls time' a day.

"Mamma mia", at this very moment there are hundreds of thousands of happy Italian employees at work getting dressed and undressed, taking their sweet time just like Sophia Loren did in the flick "Ieri, Oggi, Domani"...while their employers are banging their heads on desks.

Question: If an Italian employee is fired unfairly what is the financial range of compensation that can be made to employees?

If a firing is judged as unlawful an employer (with more than 15 employees) must reinstate an employee within 3 days. Alternatively, the employee can choose compensation equal to the wages of 15 months. If the employer has less than 16 employees, reinstatement or compensation of between 2.5 to 6 month's wages is possible.

Unfortunately, the following reasons for firing an Italian employee are considered unlawful:

- Employee is too sun-tanned.
- Employee paces herself like a slug.
- Employee suspected of being a pimp.
- Employee is trying to poison supervisor.
- Employee is personally responsible for a federally-mandated tax increase.
- Employee was annoyed the company didn't provide a place for naps during break time.
- Employee only wears slippers or socks at work.
- Employee smells like fresh asphalt.
- Employee finds 14 reasons to do anything except original task.
- Employee wants to check a co-worker for ticks.
- Employee thinks 7:30 a.m. is too early to get up for work.
- Employee wore pajamas to work.
- Employee's looks resembles Mussolini too much.

Suzzara - September 16, 2010 - The deputy mayor of this town near Mantua was caught filming women's legs in a mall supermarket and reported to the police.

Pietro Aleotti, 65, immediately resigned to defend himself.

The ex-official was said to have positioned his cell phone in his shopping basket so as to be able to take 'upskirt' shots.

The supermarket's guards had been tracking him for some time after complaints from customers.

"It was a weakness," Aleotti said. "My conscience is clear and I believe everything will soon sort itself out".