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"Buon giorno, cari lettori!" Welcome to the only newsletter that wants to know, "Where in the hell did the 1 million tons of Naples garbage go?", "Only In Italy!" Many years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Sophia while she was staying at Gregory Peck's home. She was sitting by the pool {topless} What a great thrill! Andy D. Hmmm...wasn't the daintily little princess dating Cary Grant exclusively at the time? Brava Sophia! Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie! Tanti Saluti,
The 33-year-old from Modena was responsible for the Italian section of the web site of the United Northern and Southern Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, judicial sources said. Though the man has a clean criminal record, he was already on the police radar for being close to skinhead groups. "We don't think his attempt to recruit new members was going very well," said Rome prosecutor Andrea Rossi. "We've had a look at his computer and taken a number of files for further examination, but it doesn't look like the website was generating much of a response," he said. Rossi estimated that the Italian page, hosted on the Michigan-based hate group's website www.unskk.com, received fewer than six requests for membership. "We suspect that a number of those were made by users trying to gather information to give to the police," he added. Rossi added that investigators had a difficult time tracking down the website's creator, who is unemployed and lives with his parents, due to his own attempts to remain anonymous. He said that while the man was "basically cooperative", he was evasive when asked about his involvement with the American white supremacist movement. His web page ad seeking "good, Christian people ready to join our cause" caught the attention of Italy's racism watchdog UNAR last fall, who flagged it for the police. The web page invited prospective members in Italy to send an application and color photo ID in order to receive a provisional one-year membership. ''We're looking for white patriots willing to defend our race and heritage, and take back what's been stolen from us,'' the website read. Another section lamented the ''sad and inexplicable lack of white pride'' among Italians, described as the "fathers of white civilization". According to coverage by Rome daily La Repubblica, the KKK made its Italian debut in 2005 with groups in Italy and Germany that consolidated into "realms", local groups at the bottom level of Klan hierarchy. In 2008, the Italian group obtained recognition from the Northern and Southern Knights, one of the largest white supremacist organizations in the US with chapters in 27 out of 50 American states. Hate crimes are a growing concern in Italy, where a string of attacks and unrest have highlighted growing racial tension. In early January, the issue came to a head when African field hands rioted in the Calabrian town of Rosarno after they were shot at by local youths. Some 50 people were injured in clashes with town residents, which lasted for two days and saw immigrants run over in cars and beaten with metal clubs. Wow! What a "Ku Klux Testa di Cazzo!" Modena, how sad. Do you see the anger that can brew in a person when he grows up being fed tortellini with a slingshot and getting drunk on Balsamic vinegar? "Another section lamented the ''sad and inexplicable lack of white pride'' among Italians, described as the "fathers of white civilization"." Hmmm...One would only assume this jackass's mayhem was intended as a means of reinforcing social compliance to the so-called fathers of white civilization ("'Fanculo", who knew Northern Italians are the fathers of white civilization? We'll give them the culinary title of the "fathers of bland polenta". But that's it!) Look, we can understand their hatred towards members of the immigrant community that is heavily present in the country (this hatred is a symptom of a common Italian disease called 'too much free time'). But why do we have the feeling the 'racially pure' would not include any Italian south of the Roman Coliseum? Believe it or not, Southern Italians are more than willing to defend their race and heritage too. So, there's no need for the Northerners to act surprised when they see us wearing belts instead of nylon cords to hold our pants up. "Cavolo," Southerners are FULL of life not hatred. Yes, we celebrate when the sun comes up and we appreciate life and everything it can offer. And we will invite total strangers into our homes and feed them. So, should the day come when the Italian Klux Klan burns crosses on hillsides or near the homes of Southerners they wish to intimidate, rest assured we'll use the burning wood for a great veal chop and sausage barbecue, open a few casks of homemade wine and re-celebrate the 1982 World Cup win!
"Let's take this one day to stop and think about all the things we miss out on while we're rushing through our lives," said Bruno Contigiani, the President of the Art of Living Slowly Association. A veteran of life in the fast lane as a one-time high-powered executive, Contigiani, 62, has since become an ambassador for the slow life movement around the world. He launched the first World Slow Day in 2007 to promote the values of living and working at a more natural pace, a lifestyle change that boils down to rethinking our daily routine. Contigiani's philosophy closely resembles the principles embraced by the slow food movement, launched in Italy in the 1980s, though the group says it has no more specific agenda than an easygoing society. His association suggests "14 commandments" for living better, including waking up five minutes earlier to enjoy breakfast without rushing and using time stuck in traffic jams to have a chat with the driver of a neighboring car. Others include walking whenever possible, reading in the evenings instead of watching television, focusing on one chore at a time instead of multitasking and avoiding at all costs the phrase, "I don't have time". This year, Contigiani left Italy where the event has spread around the country for the Chinese megalopolis of Shanghai, one of the fastest moving cities in the world. The slow-living advocate said he wandered around the busiest streets of the commercial center for an entire afternoon with a placard inviting people to "slow down". "A lot of people stopped to ask what I was doing," said Contigiani, who responded by giving them a copy of the group's 'commandments' and asking them to choose their favorite. "The one about waking up five minutes earlier was the most popular by far," he said. Back in Italy, the now well-known event gave rise to a broad range of initiatives all over the country reminding people for the third year in a row to stop and smell the roses. One of the best known are the "Slow Wardens" patrolling the heavily trafficked San Babila square in central Milan, where fast-walking pedestrians risked a symbolic fine unless they slow down to a stroll. Wardens were also in force in central Genoa, issuing citations to people walking straight to their destinations, and advising them about pleasant diversions on nearby side streets. Public transportation was free on Monday in the Sicilian city of Caltanissetta where commuters received a free copy of the '14 Commandments', with a few extra spaces to add tips of their own. A number of slow competitions marked the day in other Italian cities, such as the southern town of Benevento where a panel of judges graded the haiku best expressing the day's ideals. Recreation spaces with free yoga and Tai Chi lessons are a mainstay of the event in parks and public spaces from the northern city of Treviso to the Sicilian city of Palermo. Slow living recalls many of the themes and ideas expressed by the slow food movement, an effort to defend regional and organic cuisine from the onslaught of fast food. As such, Italian farmers union Coldiretti said World Slow Day was a good opportunity to reflect on the amount of time we spend in the kitchen. The group noted that the average Italian spends less and less time preparing meals, a habit some studies have connected to rising levels of obesity. It suggested that Italians prepare their own foods whenever possible, pointing to such time-honored staples as homemade pasta, fruit preserves and yogurt. Coldiretti also observed that 37% of Italians spend at least some time gardening, a well known stress reliever not to mention its edible rewards. The 14 commandments for living better: 1) Wake up 5 minutes earlier than usual to shave, put on makeup, or have breakfast without hurry and with a bit of fun. (Go nuts and have an extra piece of toast with Nutella.) 2) If stuck in traffic or at the supermarket checkout, let's not get angry and use this time to mentally plan the evening or to chat with the person behind you on line. (You: "Let me tell you something about my background." Neighbor in line: "Let me tell you something about my backside, you can kiss it.") 3) If you enter a bar for a coffee, remember to greet the bartender, enjoy the coffee and say goodbye to the bartender and cashier when you leave (this rule applies to all shops, offices and even in elevators). (You: "Grazie e arrivederci!" Bartender: "Thanks for the 10 cent tip, cornuto.") 4) Write phone text messages without symbols or abbreviations, begin with "dear". (Dear, that is funny. I am literally Laughing My Ass Off.) 5) When possible, refrain from doing two things at once such as, calling and writing on your PC otherwise, you risk becoming rude, inaccurate and vague. (Either read or use the bathroom, don't do both.) 6) Let's avoid signing up our children or ourselves in a school or gym across town 7) Do not fill the agenda with appointments, although pleasant, let's learn to say no and to have some moments of emptiness. (Cancel client meetings, go sit on a park bench and stare at the unemployed.) 8) Do not force yourself to go shopping. Your pantry will certainly allow you to cook a fine dinner with appetizer to dessert. ("What's for dinner?" "Polenta and water. Buon Appetite.") 9) Although it may cost a bit more, every once in a while, visit the shop in front of the house. You'll save time and be less stressed. 10) Let's take a walk, alone or in company, instead of the usual drive to the out of the way restaurant. 11) In the evening read the newspapers and stop surfing the TV channels. (Welcome to retirement 1992.) 12) Avoid some traveling on the weekends or during the holiday breaks, but enjoy your city, wherever it may be. (Enjoy downtown Naples or Palermo. Don't forget your helmets.) 13) If you have 15 vacation days, dedicate 10 to the vacation and the remaining for pre or post decompression. 14) Let's not keep repeating: "I do not have time." Continuing to do so will certainly not make us seem more important. ("Ma Vaffanculo", I can't believe I had the time to read these commandments!)
It is still unclear how the rumor started that experts had 'predicted' an earthquake, but it spread rapidly also thanks to social networking. This also due to a clip posted on YouTube which allegedly showed Giampaolo Giuliani, a technician who claims he had predicted last year's earthquake in the Abruzzo region by measuring radon gas, warning that a quake was imminent in the Naples area. Giuliani, however, has issued a statement to deny he ever made such a prediction. Due to a flood of calls from residents asking information about the possible quake, the Vesuvius Observatory was forced to post a message on its website to deny that such a risk existed. "There have been alarming rumors that an earthquake would strike today (Friday) but there is no geophysical nor geochemical evidence that we have gathered which would confirm this," the message said. The message, however, was not enough to quell fears in the 18 towns in the so-called 'red area' surrounding Mt Vesuvius where schools on Friday were practically empty. "I sent my son to school but only three other children showed up and the place was deserted. The same was true at the school where my sister-in-law sends her kids," a young mother here said. In Herculaneum, a mother named Antonella said she had stocked up on food and diapers after battling crowds at the supermarket. "We're all packed up and ready to evacuate as soon as the earthquake happens," she said. At an open market in the town of Portici a woman told the press "I heard the quake was supposed to happen at 5:25am, so I guess the worst is over". WARNING: In case our readers are wondering if we're going to make fun of the Napolitani again, the answer is quite obvious. Therefore; we would like to respond to the angry letters we will receive by stating that we are thrilled Naples is a wonderful part of Italy even though we would never go there (not even at gun point). There are many things we love about this enchanting city, unfortunately, none of them come to mind right now. But please sit back, our lovely angry readers, and drink in the warmth, the humor, and truth. This article is a festival of hot and spicy ignorance. Maybe it wasn't such a great thing to have the hillbillies of Naples discover electricity, buy computers and open Facebook and Twitter accounts. "The message, however, was not enough to quell fears in the 18 towns in the so-called 'red area'..." "Figlio di puttana," you would think the moronic rumor would have been restricted to just one town. No-no! Those wacky Napolitani panicked and went rampant on their cell phones calling family members, in-laws, cousins, godmothers, lovers, prostitutes, and mafia associates in a 100-km radius. "I sent my son to school but only three other children showed up and the place was deserted." "Cacchio," hold on a second. What difference is there between a regular school day in Naples and one influenced by the scheduled arrival of a major catastrophe? "In Herculaneum, a mother named Antonella said she had stocked up on food and diapers after battling crowds at the supermarket." Hmmm...we don't know which is funnier: Watching Napolitani men dodging around the city with their shirts half-buttoned, rounding up emergency supplies and their families OR a mother from a town called Herculaneum, hoarding food and diapers, and stating she's ready to evacuate AS SOON AS THE EARTHQUAKE HITS! Here's a great money making tip for travel agencies: How many tourists would pay an incredible amount of money to see the Napolitani react to the Facebook/YouTube driven rumors that German Nazis are hiding out in the Vesuvius volcano waiting to invade Naples?
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