"Ciao-Ciao!" Welcome to the only newsletter that thinks it's time for that Vatican to get a grip on itself, "Only In Italy!"

Talk about stupid prejudices and the stupid people recommending or suggesting such idiotic ideas that there are many in the USA who still think all Sicilians are mafioso. About the only good thing they think of Sicilians is that we're great lovers which I doubt my ex would agree to. Paul

Thanks for your point of view, Paolo! You're right. We're not all Mafiosi and our love making does give Brazilians a run for their money.

By the way, tell your ex-wife to kiss our Sicilian asses!  

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Pompeii - March 18, 2010 - A 2,000-year-old snack-bar in the Ancient Roman city of Pompeii will 'open for business' once more this Sunday, with a special one-off event marking its restoration.

A limited number of visitors to the Campanian archaeological site will be taken on a 45-minute guided tour of the Thermopolium (snack-bar) of Vetutius Placidus, which was previously closed to members of the public. Once inside the Thermopolium, participants will also be treated to a typical Roman snack of the type once served to customers.

The shop takes its name from electoral graffiti engraved on the outside of the shop, calling on passersby to vote for the candidate Vetutius Placidus, and on three amphorae found inside the premises. Prior to the eruption of Vesuvius in AD 79, the Thermopolium opened directly on to a main street, the Via dell'Abbondanza.

One of the best preserved sites in Pompeii, it has been closed to the public for years in order to protect it from damage.

But months of detailed excavation and preservation work have now finished and all visitors will soon be able to enter the Thermopolium and get an idea of what a typical Ancient Roman snack-bar was like.

Inside, visitors are greeted with a typical, decorated counter, just as in modern cafes and bars, where customers stood to enjoy a quick lunch. Cylindrical holes in the bar once contained glass dolia, or jars, which were used to hold food.

However, archaeologists working at this site also discovered a large quantity of coins in one of these. They believe the owner left them there in a last-ditch attempt to save his wealth as he fled the city, presumably hoping he might one day return.

The Thermopolium also boasted a triclinium (dining area) with couches, for those of its customers who wanted to eat in the reclining Greek style. This is decorated with a beautiful painting showing the Rape of Europa with Jupiter as a bull. An internal garden, viridarium, included an outdoor triclinium, which excavations have revealed was once shaded by a grapevine pergola and featured flowerbeds growing herbs used in the kitchen.

Premises adjoining the snack bar were the home of the owner and his family.

The Larario, or household shrine, is decorated with beautiful Corinthian columns. Wall paintings depict the household gods and personal companion spirit, or 'genius', carrying out a sacrifice at an altar. Mercury, god of trade, and Dionysius, god of wine, appear to the sides with protective snake divinities painted overhead, slithering towards a central altar.

"Porca l'oca", there has to be a sign carved in rock somewhere with the words: "Closed for renovation. Reopening soon." So sad to see it still takes over 1900 years to obtain a simple snack bar permit in Italy.

Pompeii's cuisine was sweet and sour, blending sharp tastes with honey and figs. Back in the day, people in Pompeii ate boiled broom, poppies and mallow and the oven was used to make "libum," a quiche-like pastry shell filled with cheese, similar to today's ricotta, and served on bay leaves. The menu would have also included cereal soups, fish, eggs, cheese, garum (a sauce made by fermenting fish entrails) and savillum (a cheesecake with a poppy seed glaze).

There was a difference in the eating habits between the Pompeii social classes. A high-energy diet of bread, dried fruits, low-quality cheese and cheap wine was reserved for slaves. Upper and middle classes had the same food, with the wealthy enjoying larger quantities and finer ingredients. The tradition continues today with how tourists are treated when they dine at nearby restaurants:

- Italian tourists -> upper class (because Italians keep their scam alert set at "maximum" at all times)
- USA tourists -> slaves (give them non existent Italian dishes like Fettuccine Alfredo, Veal or Chicken Parmesan and they're happy)
- Japanese tourists -> upper class (add an additional 600% plus tip to the bill)
- French tourists -> upper class (because they complain about everything)
- German tourists -> slaves (make sure there is plenty of cheap beer available to dull the palates)

Rome - March 18, 2010 - Taking a nap while on the job is not fair grounds for dismissal, Italy's highest court said Thursday.

A Verona security guard sacked after a boss caught him asleep will have to be rehired until he defends himself with a union rep, the Cassation Court said.

The court, whose rulings set precedents, said cat-napping was among the misdemeanors which should be handled under Italy's Workers' Statute, which protects workers from unfair dismissal.

The guard, Claudio P., committed a "disciplinary" and not sackable offence in getting 40 winks during his shift in 2000, the Cassation judges said, overturning a Venice court's verdict two years ago.

"Figlio di una mignotta," if you listen carefully you'll hear the continuous thuds of Italian employees' heads hitting their desks for their afternoon cat-naps.

Hmmm...hard to imagine why foreign companies think twice before investing in Italy. of course, we're not saying all of Italy's workforce is comatose. We're actually genuine hard workers especially, when we're under constant supervision and cornered like Sicilian rats in a trap. However, future employers should always keep in mind that lazy Italians are the ones who invented the "motorino" (scooter). They created a motorized bike so small and fast it could give us a quick get-away when there’s work to be done.

Italian employers recognize that valuable employees are becoming a rare commodity. Hiring good-for-nothing and pointless jackasses like Claudio P. could ruin their company-while hiring effective, productive employees could cause business to soar. Most times, these employers do not realize what kind of workers they have hired until they are taken all the way to the highest courts in Italy...over a nap.

In this particularly loony case, the employer would have been better off substituting Claudio with a straw-filled scarecrow in a guard's uniform. Unlike Claudio, the scarecrow would have not found 17 reasons to do anything except its job and been able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing its breath.