Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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February 2009
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"Beware of Italian Hunters"

(02/10/09)

 

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Visit OreganoFromItaly.com and give it a try for your next Italian recipe!

"Hey! Che si dice?" Welcome to the site that can't stand that little "Dolce" nor his boyfriend "Gabbana", "Only In Italy!"

We lived in La Maddalena and bella Napoli for 5 years of the last 10. You guys are so funny! Wish we would have been reading it when we were in Italy! JL

Grazie! Where did you spend the other 5 years? In the "not so bella" part of Napoli?  

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Italian Smoking Teacher On YouTube Fined

Florence - February 6, 2009 - An Italian teacher caught smoking on a camera-phone video posted on You Tube was fined Friday for damaging his school's image.

Physical education teacher Alberto Burchielli was fined 8,000 euros ($10,000).

Burchielli, 57, was suspended in March 2008 after the video appeared of him smoking behind his desk at a Florentine tourism school. The two 16-year-old students who filmed the prof put a caption on the video claiming he was smoking pot.

The teacher gave up smoking 25 years ago and only started again a couple of days before the incident. He now says he's given up "for good".

Hey Fellini! The next time I catch you breaking my "coglioni" with that camera, I'm going to put my ashes in your shirt pocket.

"The two 16-year-old students who filmed the prof put a caption on the video claiming he was smoking pot." Obviously, these little "cornuti" got it wrong. If you can't learn physics or algebra in the two 50-minute class periods a week, then you blackmail.

The Italian public schools. Class in session!

- 90 year-old-schools that haven't been renovated since when Mussolini took his first baby steps.

- Gray and puke-colored paint chipping off.

- Most toilets inside the schools are Turkish toilets. We're still not sure if they were meant as an unfunny joke or for actual use.

- Toilet paper and soap dispenser replenishments are scheduled only when the students voraciously complain about wiping with loose leaf paper.

- There are no cafeterias. If you're hungry, get up, leave class and get a sandwich at the bar next door.

- There are barely any libraries although some teachers will look you straight in the face and say that there are. A room with 3-4 bookshelves and 3-4 tables with 3-4 chairs on the top floor is not a library. It's a supplies closet.

- There is 1 copy machine that always runs out of paper...and copy paper does not necessarily get re-supplied often. When you do request paper, the computer tech whose previous job was picking snails has to come shuffling down the corridor just to fill the machine with paper for you, (apparently, teachers aren't capable), and then complain to you about how the teachers just eat paper there, at least three or four times in a row before leaving you to your meaningless task.

There are, however, at least 3 coffee machines on every floor, including in the library/closet.

 

Valentine in Italian

Rome - February 10, 2009 - You can take inspiration from the 'country of romance' by learning some lovely Italian phrases to say to your sweetheart on Valentine's Day. This will cost you nothing but a bit of time and effort and will sound sexy when whispered into your lover's ear.

Italians are in love with love and romance. They revel in the news of any engagement, marriage or birth of a baby. As you stroll through any town in Italy, you will see lovers intertwined and oblivious to anything going on around them. Romance and passion are a necessity for Italians.

This has always been true in Italy: think of Romeo and Juliet, Casanova, Marcello Mastroianni, and Sofia Loren or Raoul Bova and Diane Lane in "Under the Tuscan Sun ".

Consider the songs of Andrea Bocelli; while the music is beautiful, so much of the emotion has to do with the passionate words he is emoting.

What of the many romantic movies filmed in Italy such as Room With a View, Under The Tuscan Sun, Respiro, Summertime and many, many more?

You can be as romantic as any Italian by using a few simple phrases listed below:

"Ti amo" (tee ah moe): I love you (but please...stop aging!)

"Ti adoro" (tee ah door oh): I adore you (and that protruding belly you can't keep under control)

"Mi manchi" (me mahn kee): I miss you (and your constant smell of ricotta)

"Ti penso sempre" (tee pen so sehm pray): I always think about you (when it's time to eat)

"Sei sempre nel mio cuore" (say sehm pray nell me oh kwo ray): You are always in my heart (when your beautiful brother/sister is not around)

"Voglio baciarti" (volley oh bah char tee): I want to kiss you (when I smell your cheap Napolitano after-shave)

"Sei molto bella/bello" (say mohl toe bell ah/oh): You are very beautiful/handsome (when you're making tomato sauce)

"Mi manchi come l'aria che respiro" (me mahn kee ko may la ree ah kay res pier oh): I miss you like the air that I breathe (when I clean out the chicken shed)

"Vaffanculo!" (vah fon ku low): Happy Valentine's Day!

 

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40 Dead In Italy Hunting Accidents

Rome - February 9, 2009 - Some 41 people died and 85 were wounded in hunting accidents during the five-month season that just ended, the Italian Association for Hunting Victims (AVC) said Monday.

There were 86 casualties among hunters, AVC said: 24 dead and 62 wounded between the start of September and the end of January. Civilian casualties were 40: 17 dead and 23 wounded. Tuscany had the highest number of deaths, 17, followed by Sardinia with 12 and Veneto with ten, AVC said.

"Ciao Giuseppe! What did you shoot today?"
"Ah, Vincenzo! It took a while but I finally caught that swine that gives all those free eggplants and escarole to my wife."

Unfortunately, hunting is legal in Italy and the arrogant mules that make up the pro-hunting lobby have managed to overcome all efforts to have it banned.

About 70% of Italian hunters are concentrated in the central and northern areas of the country with Tuscany, Umbria and Sardinia being the most popular regions. "What minchioni!" Is anyone reading this stupid newsletter? Will someone explain to these people about the wonderful world of pottery class and scrapbooking?

But here is the kick in the "coglioni"... Game is public property and you can hunt in most places provided you're at least 100 meters (328 ft) from a house and don't damage crops.

"Civilian casualties were 40: 17 dead and 23 wounded." When you read a statistic like this you begin to realize, if you're a short little fatso who puts on a brown jacket and wanders off to pick daisies, you could be mistaken for a wild boar.

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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