Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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April 2008
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"An Impertinent and Inappropriate Stare"

(04/29/08)

 

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"Buon Giorno" Welcome to the only newsletter that could have saved the entire population of Pompeii from Mt. Vesuvius. "Only In Italy!"

I don't understand why women not in politics or in mainstream of business and cultural is a Berlusconi issue rather then an Italian cultural one? The problem is that Italy is still two countries (North vs South) there are not enough jobs for young educated women and the combination of the MOB(S) and corrupt government make it impossible for anyone to advance...let alone women.

Every one makes fun of Berlusconi but all Italians should take a hard look at themselves...48 governments in 60 years! Did the other governments push the rights of women? Fred D.

Thanks for the political feedback, Fred.

Actually, it's 62 governments in 60+ years but who's counting?

We couldn't agree with you more, Fred. It is a problem caused by our Italian culture.

However; our communist parties happen to be in the same dire situation as Italian women. (Yes, comrade Fred, we still have communist parties.) The last election held a few weeks ago resulted in the elimination of 5 political parties. This means that for the first time in Italian history there will not be a communist or socialist in the Italian parliament. They are now considered outcasts of Italian and political society.

Can you imagine what future female communists will have now? Cuba keeps looking brighter and brighter.

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Berlusconi's Lovely Wife: "Just Divide Italy"

Rome - April 26, 2008 - Veronica Lario, wife of Silvio Berlusconi, the former and future Italian prime minister, recommends partitioning the country.

"Italy has never been well-suited to being a single country, and has never matured enough to become one," she told the newspaper reporters. "There is no longer any value in a unified Italy."

Italy became a single country in 1870. Since the recent parliamentary elections, Umberto Bossi, leader of the secessionist Northern League has accused politicians in Rome of robbing the industrial north to send aid to southern Italy, and called for splitting the country.

In and interview, Lario said many Italians are "snobbish" about the Northern League.

"This is a disillusioned country, even after Berlusconi's victory," she said. "The League expresses concrete demands from the most productive part of Italy, which is tired of dragging the rest of the country and does not find itself represented by the left-wing."

Berlusconi, 71 - a media mogul who served two terms as prime minister before losing a re-election bid to Romano Prodi in 2006 - is returning to office after defeating center-left challenger Walter Veltroni in an election this month. Berlusconi is expected to include Bossi in his cabinet.

Dividiamo Italia!

Sta' Pippa!

It's nice to see that old crow pop up every once in a while and cackle a few incoherent statements. We're amazed she's still unified with that clown of a husband.

Unfortunately, there will never be peace between the north and south of Italy. That is something we all have to realize and accept. Let us tell everyone why there will never be peace:

Whenever you have a bunch of Sicilians, there are plenty of people to hate them.
If you put Sicilians on Mars, there will be a problem.
If you put them in the North Pole, the polar bears will start asking too many questions and go to war with them.

As our grandfather always preached to us; "If there's an ocean, people will swim, if there are Sicilians, people will hate. That's my history lesson for you. Now, stop looking at me that way and get out. Close the door behind you."

"Oh, you ugly Sicilians!" You know, we normally feel ugly but we have never feel as ugly as we do when we visit the north.

It's amazing there's peace in Little Italy!

 

Italy Confiscates Phoney Olive Oil

Rome - April 22, 2008 - Italian police have arrested 25 people in the south of the country suspected of selling adulterated vegetable oil as extra virgin olive oil.

Police say sunflower oil was mixed with chlorophyll and beta-carotene to give it olive oil's characteristic color.

Some 15,000 cans, 33,000 labels, 2,800 one-liter bottles of oil and 250 kg of chlorophyll were also seized, along with seven olive oil factories.

Italy is Europe's second-largest producer of olive oil, behind Spain.

"We have confiscated 25,000 liters of this oil, a large portion of which was on the verge of being exported, mainly to the US and Germany," police spokesman Antonio Citarella told news agencies.

The scam involved some 39 people, 14 of whom have been placed under house arrest, who produced olive oil sold under various brands.

The investigation began in October 2006 after several complaints about the quality of olive oil sold in markets in the northern town of Turin.

According to news sources, cheap vegetable oil was purchased from the US and colorants added to bring its color closer to that of real olive oil.

The head of a local consumers' association complained that olive oil was simply the latest food scare to hit Italy.

"After wine and mozzarella, now olive oil - another of our country's specialities - is at the center of a scandal," Primo Mastrantoni was quoted as telling news agencies.

"Ma, che cazzo c' in quest'olio?"

Sunflower oil?
Chlorophyll?
Beta-carotene?

It seems the only feature missing from this incredibly delicious olive oil is a portrait on the bottle/canister of a Pugliese with his shirt half-buttoned, picking olives, and proudly smiling with half of his teeth missing.

"Porca puttana", these people should be beaten every time they go near an olive tree.

The best way to protect yourself against criminal olive oil is to hold several taste tests:

- Take a plain piece of bread and drizzle olive oil on it.
- Try to concentrate on the taste of the oil.
- Compare different oils from time to time.
- You will learn to recognize the distinctive taste of olive oil as compared to vegetable oils.

You should also purchase olive oil produced by a single estate and local mills and NOT by large multinationals. These oils are usually found in better supermarkets and gourmet food shops.

If by chance you try an olive oil and the first thought that comes to mind is the fact your car is overdue for a lube job then, most likely, the olive oil is not genuine. Pass the garbage on to that lovely neighbor/relative/pain-in-the-ass who claims to have been born an Italian food connoisseur.

 

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Man Fined For Staring Too Insistently

Lecco - April 17 - An Italian court on Thursday slapped a suspended ten-day jail sentence and a 40-euro fine on a man who stared too hard at a fellow passenger on a train.

The 30-year-old man was found guilty of harassment after looking at a woman in the same train compartment "too insistently" while they traveled on the Sondrio-Milan regional train.

According to the 55-year-old woman, the man had sat "too close" to her on the previous day's journey after asking her to move her coat. The next day the man did not speak to the woman, but sat in front of her staring in a way she found "impertinent and inappropriate". The woman reported the man to the railway police after she got off the train.

The man, who claims he was looking at the woman only because she happened to be sitting directly in front of him, has lodged an appeal.

"Impertinent and inappropriate?"
"Cara Signora, ma vaffanculo!"

It's difficult to guess what the highlight of his day was; the alarm clock waking him up at 5:30 a.m., running like a mad man to the station to catch the train to work, or taking his first customer service call.

To create such a fuss, this woman must have looked like Sophia Loren or Mussolini.

Look, folks, no one is shameful anymore.
There is no shame in Italian society.

Why doesn't he just wear a shirt that says, "I'm impertinent, inappropriate and stupid!" Maybe that will satisfy her.

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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