"Buon Giorno" Welcome to the only newsletter that serves up humor with a pinch of irreverence and extra marinara sauce,"Only In Italy!"
Regarding article: "Impatient Teacher Faces Charges for Gagging Children"
I have written many times in the past regarding your articles, and I really think that you should point out to your readers that most of the stupid people you write about are doing the exact same things that Americans have already done, with very bad results! Stop doing the things that have already screwed up America! It's that simple! John
Thanks for all past and present feedback you've sent John. We appreciate it.
You are quite right. The same actions, more or less, have occurred in just about every public school system on the planet.
While most teachers as a result have been fired, transferred, or demoted, Italian history has proved time and time again that state employees such as this compassionate kindergarten teacher will most likely be..."promoted", given an endorsement deal for packing tape, or both!
Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!
Canicatti' - September 17, 2008 - A female passenger on Wednesday said she had started legal proceedings against Italian train company Trenitalia after allegedly being bitten by fleas during a rail journey.
The 62-year-old woman said she was traveling on a Rome-Agrigento train in Sicily on Saturday when she began to feel itchy and noticed a swelling on her arm. After arriving at her destination the woman went to hospital, where doctors said the bites would clear up within three days.
But Trenitalia on Wednesday disputed the woman's claims. "No insect or parasite was found aboard the Rome-Agrigento service of September 13," Trenitalia said, explaining that the carriage in question had been immediately sealed up and sent to Rome for tests following the incident.
"The entire compartment underwent a careful search, which included dismantling the seats."
"No form of passenger compensation is foreseen when no unpleasant insects are found on board the train," it added.
But the company said that it would "in any case" soon begin a new disinfestation program approved by Italy's Higher Health Institute. It is also planning to overhaul laws that permit domestic animals and large dogs on board its trains.
This is not the first time Trenitalia has been in bug trouble.
The company vowed to clean up its trains in November 2005 after a series of embarrassing incidents, which included passengers storming off an international train from France to Italy after finding bugs crawling all over their skin.
In October last year three women sued the company after discovering their compartment was "hopping with lice" on a night train between southern Italy and Rome.Oh, excuse me, you "figlio di puttana". What type of flea is considered pleasant?
"No insect or parasite was found aboard the Rome-Agrigento service of September 13," Trenitalia said, explaining that the carriage in question had been immediately sealed up and sent to Rome for tests following the incident. "The entire compartment underwent a careful search, which included dismantling the seats."
"Cornuto", talk about extremes! Was this for a check for fleas who acted unpleasant or to investigate if this woman was smuggling top secret defense plans to a goat farm in Agrigento?
"In October last year three women sued the company after discovering their compartment was "hopping with lice" on a night train between southern Italy and Rome." Once again, there was no need for passenger compensation for the lice were hopping (obviously, with joy). Therefore, they were determined as being pleasant.
Here's a quick and useful travel tip the next time you desire to visit the Italy countryside by "choo-choo" train:
Bring a flea collar (for the unpleasant ones) and say a quick prayer at the train station chapel.
Sondrio - September 16, 2008 - An Italian mountain climber who survived the worst ever climbing disaster on Pakistan's K2 last month is to lose his toes because of severe frostbite damage.
"Tomorrow I'll go to hospital in Padova where they will amputate all my toes," said Marco Confortola, who was stranded on the world's second highest mountain for almost five days after a deadly avalanche blocked his descent and killed 11 climbers.
But Confortola said doctors had promised him they would save the bones in the feet that connect to the toes.
"That way I will be able to walk again soon, maybe only after a few months. And then I want to start climbing again," he said.
The 37-year-old was the last avalanche survivor to be helicoptered off the mountain in August when he finally made it back to base camp, seven days after setting out. Confortola said at the time he was "happy to be alive" but complained about pain in his feet and toes, which had turned black with frostbite.
In May Confortola was one of a three-man Italian team that braved extremely touch weather conditions to install the world's highest climate station 8,000m above sea level on Mt Everest.
Magnifico Marco! How about if we send you a pair of ballerina slippers as a "Glad To See You're Alive" gift?
We can't believe people's audacity that they think they can take on Mother Nature and win.
Think for a moment, Marco...
The next time you get an urge to climb a treacherous and cold death mountain in the month of August, say to yourself, "Testa di minghia, I should be lying on a beach somewhere minding my own business."
However; we admire you for your bravery and for installing an indispensable climate station on Mt Everest because...we NEED to know what the humidity factor is on top of that godforsaken mountain.
"...I want to start climbing again." Bravo, Marco! The next time we clip our toenails, we'll think of you and wonder what the weather is like on Mt Everest.
Foggia - September 18, 2008 - The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy, an Italian newspaper reported Tuesday.
The holder of the winning ticket in the raffle held in the town of San Marco in Lamis (Foggia, Puglia) is entitled to a free lined coffin, a tombstone, copper candlesticks and a grave site, newspapers reported.
There is no deadline for claiming the prize and the winner can give it to somebody else, raffle organizers said, according to the paper.
"Oh, porca di quella troya, my number came up..."
That's some cheerful and cozy little town to visit, isn't it? Instead of a raffle of death, next time give away a run-down chicken shed (3 sick chickens included), an old Vespa scooter, or a mule that just couldn't care less about going anywhere anymore.
It's quite clear that the winner purposely did not claim the unlucky prize because the concepts of luck (good or bad) are universal to the Italian peasant community. Accepting the prize would cause have caused a great amount of stress for the unlucky winner and a great amount of entertainment for the people around him for it would have increased the importance of southern Italian superstitions in his life.
Superstition 1: To hear a cat sneeze was good luck for all who heard it. If that damn cat doesn't sneeze, then you must do all that is possible to make sure it gets a good cold (cold baths, sneezing germs on the cat food).
Superstition 2: On the other hand, to have birds in the house was unlucky. Either all the windows are kept closed at all times or a pellet gun is kept handy.
Superstition 3: You must touch iron immediately after seeing a nun (unlucky) You may mutter, "Your nun!" at the next person they see, thereby passing on the bad luck to someone else. Either you avoid churches until the day of your funeral or carry a piece of iron metal with you at all times.
Superstition 4: A loaf of bread must always be placed face up, or else bad luck will come. Imagine all the care and precautions that would have to go into making a simple mortadella and cheese sandwich!
Superstition 5: Some people extended this ban to bird feathers as well, especially peacock feathers, because they appear to have the "evil eye" on them. "Cacchio", if a peacock starts roaming around your home then it's best to just give up and cash in on your death raffle winnings.