Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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October 2008
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"Italians Befuddled From Bible Exam"

(10/15/08)

 

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Senior Citizen Caught Picking Pockets at St. Peter's

Rome - October 14, 2008 - A 79-year-old Italian man was caught picking pockets in St Peter's Square on Tuesday.

The man was "poised to pounce" on a group of Danish tourists when the police who patrol the square moved in, judicial sources said.

The man has a history of picking pockets, they said.

Oh, porca vacca, I broke my hip...again.

We don't know what is more funny: an old dashing debonair, impeccably dressed with a Guerra felt hat, and greased thin moustache trying to pickpocket you while elegantly explaining the history of the Vatican or watching him dash across St. Peter's Square from the scene of the crime, holding his pants up and losing his breath.

However, we're curious...

After he was caught, did he almost change the monotone expression on his face?
Was he dragged by his suspenders into the Basilica, forced into a confessional box and reprimanded?

"Coglione", this is a old man who should have been sitting in a piazza somewhere playing a round of "scopa" and making fun of his friend who insists he was just trying to hide that sheep from the Nazis 60 years ago!

 

Lawyer: Hathaway's Italian Ex Deserves Less Jail Time

Lawyer: Hathaway's Italian Ex Deserves Less Jail TimeNew York - October 14, 2008 - An Italian businessman who dated Hollywood actress Anne Hathaway and admitted to a fraudulent real estate scheme based on links to the Vatican should get three years in prison, his lawyer said on Tuesday.

Raffaello Follieri, 30, pleaded guilty in September to a scheme in which he fraudulently obtained more than $2 million by misleading investors to believe he had Vatican connections that enabled him to buy the Roman Catholic Church's unwanted U.S. real estate properties at a discount.

In a sentencing memo filed on Tuesday, Follieri's lawyer told U.S. District Judge John Koeltl he should speed up Follieri's deportation back to Italy and reduce his prison time to three years from the five years and three months recommended under his plea deal. He is due to be sentenced on October 23.

"To say his hopes and dreams of building a thriving business in the United States has been a disaster is an understatement," said lawyer Flora Edwards after citing Follieri's "deeply religious" values and a sick mother. "There is no danger he will ever return to this country."

Follieri, a native of Foggia, Italy, who arrived in the United States in 2003, dated Hathaway for four years before his arrest in June.

Last month Hathaway, who starred in "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Get Smart," told W magazine that she felt like "a rug was pulled out from under me" when Follieri was first arrested. After breaking up with him, the Brooklyn native said she was still looking for a new place to live.

Prosecutors said Follieri used the money from his scheme to pay for expensive clothes, meals and a $37,000-a-month Manhattan apartment, as well exotic vacations and private jets for his girlfriend.

They described him as a con-man and said he forged a real-estate venture with California supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle. He also befriended Douglas Band, top aide to former President Bill Clinton.

"Please, your honor, this deeply religious "faccia di culo" deserves less jail time."

Dear Hollywood actresses,

Remember, charming Italian men who parlay supposed Vatican ties into financial gain are nothing new. God's banker Roberto Calvi played that same game. He ended up hanging from Blackfriars Bridge in London.

Isn't it amazing what one can do with Photoshop and a shopping spree at the Vatican Gift Shop?

"Follieri's lawyer told U.S. District Judge John Koeltl he should speed up Follieri's deportation back to Italy..." Yawn, what a shock.

Question: Which 2001-02 Berlusconi gov't law reform would the "Jackass Who Wears Prada" benefit from upon his triumphal return to Italy?

A.) Amnesty for the reentry of illegal foreign capital;
B.) Penal code reform forbidding prosecutors to appeal against acquittals,
C.) Passage of laws that have shortened statutory terms for tax fraud,
D.) A much shorter statute of limitation for financial and corruption crimes,
E.) The decriminalization of false accounting statements and their punishment with administrative fines,
F.) Invalidation of court documents transferred from international criminal tribunals (a notorious law reform which resulted in the release of many Mafia members and 'friends' for lack of evidence).

"Last month Hathaway...felt like "a rug was pulled out from under me" when Follieri was first arrested." "Cretina", didn't you realize something wasn't kosher when the Pope was returning your boyfriend's calls?

 

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Italians Befuddled From Bible Exam

Vatican City - October 14, 2008 - Only 14% of Italians are able to answer basic questions about the Bible correctly, a report by research institute Eurisko for the Vatican revealed on Tuesday.

Italians were stymied by questions such as "Are the Gospels part of the Bible?" and "Did Jesus write any of the books in the Bible?", according to the report.

Eurisko said Italy was near the bottom of the table in a survey of general Bible-reading, with only 27% of Italians saying they had read a passage from the Holy Book in the last 12 months, compared to 75% of Americans. Two other Catholic countries, France (21%) and Spain (20%), were more Bible-shy than Italy.

While 88% of Italians describe themselves as Catholics, Italy also failed to distinguish itself among the most church-going countries in the report. Only 32% of Italians regularly attend services compared to 55% of Poles and 45% of Americans.

Eurisko polled the United States, Britain, the Netherlands, Germany, Spain, France, Italy, Poland, Russia, the Philippines, Argentina and Hong Kong for the survey.

Speaking at the presentation of the report, the head of the Pontifical Council for Christian Unity, Walter Kasper, said it confirmed widespread ignorance and confusion about the Old and New Testaments in many Christian countries, including Italy.

"The majority of Christians know the Bible only from passages read in church and few pray with the Bible," Kasper said. He also condemned fundamentalist readings of the Scriptures characteristic of emerging Christian movements and said the Bible should instead be a means of consolidating ecumenical dialogue.

"Wait! Aspetta! I know it! The seventh commandment is...thou shalt not admit adultery."

Earlier this month the Pope kicked off a week-long marathon Bible reading on Italian television. In the defense of the Italians, if we knew that Vatican was going to give us a surprise quiz we would have stayed tuned in a bit longer.

However; what Cardinal came up with the brilliant pontifical idea to have among the readers, three former Italian presidents (Cossiga, Scalfaro, Ciampi) and a shady and infamous senator for life (Andreotti)? "Porca miseria", how despicable!

Each time these politicians surfaced to read, our grandmother would get up and punch the TV screen! "Che bestia!

"Only 14% of Italians are able to answer basic questions about the Bible correctly..." The only Italians capable of answering any Bible question correctly is the Mafia. We're not familiar with any Italian that keeps five copies of the Bible handy as ex-boss Bernardo Provenzano did.

"Va bene", Italians are not exactly the brightest Bible scholars however, there is no other race that follows more proverbs than we do.

"Are the Gospels part of the Bible?"
"Botte buona fa buon vino." A good cask makes good wine.

"Did Jesus write any of the books in the Bible?"
"Chi pił sa, meno crede." The more one knows, the less one believes.

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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