Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
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March 2010
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"Love Always Wins Over Envy and Hatred"

(03/22/10)

 

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"Che bella giornata!" Welcome to the only newsletter that strongly believes the modus operandi of Italy is total confusion, "Only In Italy!"

Without further delay...here you go! 

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Italian Creates The 'Super Tomato'

Rome - March 9, 2010 - A 'supertomato' created by Italian scientists is the perfect food for helping keep cancer at bay, the head of the World Foundation of Urology said on Tuesday.

Launching Prostate Cancer Week in Italy, Mauro Dimitri said the 'supertomato' created by the Biomolecular Institute at the Naples National Research Center offered a unique blend of nutritional qualities.

"This tomato has nutritional characteristics that are ideally suited for preventing disease," explained Dimitri.

"It has a total anti-oxidant activity superior to all other tomato hybrids normally for sale, both fresh and preserved.

"It has a greater content of the cancer-fighting carotene lycopene and vitamin C than is found in purple tomatoes, and the same anti-inflammatory properties as the San Marzano tomato".

According to Dimitri, these qualities not only make it suitable for fending off prostate cancer but also for reducing the risks of a host of other diseases in which oxidative stress and the subsequent creation of free radicals play a role. These include cardiovascular disease, arthritis, Parkinson's Disease and osteoporosis, as well as cancers of the lung and stomach.

The team of scientists that created the tomato has been at pains to stress that it involved no genetically modified organisms but is a simple blend of two existing varieties: the San Marzano, famed for its taste and anti-inflammatory properties, and the Black Tomato, a purple fruit high in anti-oxidants. The real name of the 'supertomato', Maxantia, is still awaiting registration but widespread cultivation of the bright red, plum tomato has already got under way in Campania.

Speaking at the official unveiling of the 'supertomato' a few months back, Naples Agriculture Councilor Francesco Emilio Borrelli said it was a fruit that combined the best of Campania tomatoes.

"Our supertomato is a natural blend that has fused two genetic heritages to obtain a new variety with high, health-giving properties," he said.

In recognition of its healthy qualities, Campania regional authorities have also backed a commercial deal with local pizza makers. The aim is to encourage local pizzaioli to use the Maxantia on their pizzas as a healthier alternative to regular tomatoes.

In addition to its innately healthy properties, the supertomato also boasts another key advantage over other fruit and vegetables, in that it loses just 20% of its anti-oxidant properties when cooked.

Discussing the dangers of prostate cancer and the launch of the weeklong campaign, Dimitri warned it was the most common tumor among men in Italy, with 37,000 new cases each year, causing 9,000 deaths annually.

"Sta pippa," imagine the Italian dishes that will come out of the kitchens thanks to this 'super' ingredient:

"Big League Bucatini all'Amatriciana"
"Premium Penne with Sausage and Tomatoes"
"Smashing Spaghetti with Tuna, Capers, and Olives"

The Super Tomato! "Bravi!" We're happy to hear the good scientists at the Naples National Research Center are up to groundbreaking work. Let's hope it's true and that they're not super full of crap. Then again, you need a 'super' anything to get through a typical day in bella Naples (yes, here it comes again):

Super espresso coffee (to be fully awake and on maximum scam alert),
Super antacids (after vast consumption of super homemade wine, grappa, fried baccala, and pizza),
Super patience (to overcome the incredible simplicity of mailing a package),
Super reflexes (necessary when taking on the every-man-for-himself traffic),
Super sneakers (to avoid crimes in progress),
Super lungs (to overcome the stupendous aromatic smell of burning garbage).

 

Mafia Hitman Tracked Down Through Facebook

Rome - March 16, 2010 - A mafia hitman's zeal for social networking proved his undoing, Italian police said Tuesday after using his Facebook account to track him down.

Pasquale Manfredi, a high-ranking member of the Nicosia-Manfredi clan of 'Ndrangheta, was nabbed in his Calabrian hideout while chatting on the social media website.

Calling himself 'Scarface', from the 1983 gangster film starring Al Pacino, Manfredi was an assiduous user and updated his profile regularly, said police. After connecting him to the account, they used it to figure out where he was connecting to the internet. Their investigation led them to an apartment in the town of Isola Capo Rizzuto near Crotone, where 'Scarface' passed the time chatting on his laptop.

Police described Manfredi as a "cold and cruel" assassin suspected of a handful of murders over the past ten years, most notably the 2004 hit on rival clan leader Carmine Arena, who was blown up with a bazooka. He is also accused of arms trafficking and extortion.

This is not the first time Italian law enforcement has used Facebook to track down criminals. Last October, police near Rome arrested a burglar who logged onto the social network during a break-in and sent messages to his friends.

5 biggest mistakes the Mafia makes on Facebook:

1. Avoid pictures: It may go without saying, but prospective mafia bosses or victims do not want to see pictures of you collecting 'insurance money' from store owners or aiming a bazooka at a rival clan member.

2. Complaining about your current job: It could be a full note about how much you hate your hideout, or how much of a nincompoop your boss is, or it could be as innocent as a status update about how your partner's gun always jams at the most inopportune moments. While everyone complains about work sometimes, doing so in a public forum where it can be found by the police, or worse, other organized criminal organizations is not the best career move.

3. Statuses you wouldn't want law enforcement to see: Everyone should know to avoid statuses like "Silvano plans to block more garbage trucks so he can get more cash for that BMW." "Who cares that I didn't dig a grave deep enough?" But you should also be aware of less flamboyant statuses like "Mamma mia, what I would do to my Godfather's daughter." "Can I bury someone in my Farmville garden, LOL?"

4. Being a loser by association: You can't control what your imbecile mafia friends post to your profile, nor what they post to their own profiles or to those of mutual mafia clans. If a victim, boss or the police sees those Friday night pictures your friend has tagged you in where he is setting fire to a warehouse, it reflects poorly on you, even if the picture of you is completely innocent.

5. Sending threats to your victims through Facebook messages: Something along the lines of "I noticed business is picking up and so, we'll be renegotiating your insurance policy" although, your name isn't mentioned in the message and the topic is something your victim is definitely NOT looking forward to. Don't do it anymore if you're one of the ones doing it - cut it out, jackass! You're not Facebook friends yet!

 

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Tears and Idiocy In Berlusconi Messages

Rome - March 16, 2010 - Hysterical and tearful messages from Italians imploring Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi to persevere after being attacked last year fill a book hitting the stores as campaigning for regional elections steps up.

Published by the Mondadori company that Berlusconi owns, "Love always wins over envy and hatred" collates some of the 50,000 messages of support that poured in after a mentally unstable man smashed a small statue into the premier's face at a rally in December.

Berlusconi, who has been embroiled in sex scandals and a fight with the judiciary, saw his popularity rise after the attack. But corruption scandals and bungling over ballot lists for regional polls prompted a recent slide in ratings. The messages run the gamut from defiant - "Show them you're indestructible!" to desperate and sentimental - "We beg you, don't abandon us and do clone yourself if you can" - to the hysterical.

"On seeing you covered in blood, my wife grabbed her hair and sobbed as she yelled 'My Madonna, save Silvio!'" wrote Carlo F. "Prime Minister, we're at the edge of a precipice: only you can save us and guarantee a future to our grandchildren."

In another, "Grandma Norina" called on Berlusconi's deceased mother for help: "Your mamma in the heavens will protect you and give you the strength and serenity to continue your job."

Others wrote to say they wept, that "I'm hurt like as if my father had been hit" and "Without you I'd leave Italy." The book also quotes a supporter as saying: "Even with kryptonite they couldn't knock you down!"

With the book in stores just as Berlusconi tries to rally voters ahead of the March 28-29 vote, the left-leaning newspaper La Repubblica dismissed it as an election gimmick.

"My Madonna, save Silvio!" That's right! He's Charles Lindbergh and Joan of Ark rolled into one!
Ahhh...sorry folks. It's just our fellow Italians hard at work creating the perfect society...when they're not selling air to each other.

"Even with kryptonite they couldn't knock you down!" Porca vacca," what's more incredible is the amount of kryptonite in the heads of Italians. Yes, it’s all in there and they're roaming the streets.

Berlusconi: "Just think that in the first two days after the attack I received over 50,000 messages via the Internet, hundreds of faxes and flower bouquets." Just think that after Italy's Internet was restored, worn out fax machines replaced and acres of flower gardens replanted, Silvio's urine was tested again to see if it could be the answer to the world's energy problem.

"...only you can save us and guarantee a future to our grandchildren." "Faccia di culo", this is a man who went half an hour without caviar in between entertainment sessions with 'escorts', gets smashed in the face with a Milan souvenir, and they're calling him a hero? "Minchia", I hope the book recalls the time breakfast was served cold.

Our cousin, Aurelio, swears to us that he once bit the head off an Italian rat to save his neighbor’s spaghetti. Why? Because a chuckled faced hump once said, "love always wins over envy and hatred."

So, if there's an interested book publisher among our readers, please contact Aurelio.

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
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